Ques: Hey Amma! Me and boyfriend have been together for a long time now, but lately I don’t enjoy the sex as much as I used to, and I don’t feel like doing it but I don’t know how to tell my boyfriend.
Hey, you little macchi, don’t you fret about this too much; Amma is here to help you out! Having a low sex drive is completely normal and can happen to anyone, due to various reasons. Depression, anxiety (or other mental illnesses), low self esteem and stress can be some of the reasons a person feels this way. Other serious reason could be a history of physical abuse.
Whatever the reason might be, talking to your partner about it is the best solution. Amma knows it is very tough for you idlis and dosas to talk about sex, and especially when it is not going well, but it is important that you and your partner are on the same page. If you are not comfortable talking to your partner at first, then you can talk to a friend or a counsellor. A third person’s perspective may help you realise where the problem lies, and you can start working on it. But, make sure that you don’t hide it from your partner for too long because he needs to know too, right macchi? Don’t be shy about talking about your likes and dislikes with your partner. Amma knows that only communication will help you two little macchis get clarity about what you want (or not want) in bed.
Aiyyo my dear, other than talking about it, leading a healthy life will result in a healthy sex life. Amma will suggest that eating right and exercising regularly can help you to get your libido back and let huge amounts of endorphin into your system. Taking some time off from your packed schedule of classes and internships for a mini vacation or a fancy date can also help you idlis bring the spark back, as well. You macchis can also try spicing up the curry with some help from role-play and dirty-talk!
Whatever you do my darling puttu, don’t beat yourself over this and remember: it is normal to feel this way!