I came out almost accidentally over a year ago, after at least six months of intense mental conversations with myself. I remember the exact moment I felt the words come out of my mouth for the first time, to a friend I’d recently reconnected with after years of no conversation. “I’m pretty sure I’m bisexual anyway”, I said. He nodded in acknowledgement, and we continued our chatter as if what I’d just revealed was a perfectly normal statement. The astonishing part in all of this is that it was, in fact, a perfectly normal statement.
I don’t have qualms about sexuality. Ever since I gained understanding of the concepts of equality, I’ve believed that everyone deserves to be loved. Being bisexual was difficult to figure out, but only because it involved an analysis of my actions and feelings since childhood, as well as a re-evaluation of what I’d established as my identity for so long. There were several stages – from ‘I only like men’ to ‘I like women only physically’ to finally, ‘I can see myself marrying a girl’. The discovery was groundbreaking, in the way scientific inventions are. It offered me a fitting definition and a new perspective. I came out to all my friends one by one, and I couldn’t have wished for better responses. The best thing is that it didn’t stop there. My friends are supportive, silently and unwaveringly but also vocally and emphatically. We joke about stereotypes but appreciate our identities. My boyfriend laughingly exclaims that he’s always up for threesomes, and in the same breath gushes with pride for my openness about my sexuality.
While I’ve yet to come out to my parents, the conversation I had with my brother within a month of labeling myself as bisexual is one of my most treasured memories. We’re not the closest siblings, and we’ve never talked about it since, but the knowledge that someone I immensely look up to knows who I am, is liberating.
Coming out can be hard and traumatic. Luckily for me, I have a support system that can’t be rivaled. The stigma attached to the LGBT community, especially in India, is still highly prevalent. However, not every queer’s life has to be full of distress. There are people who care. People in your family, people in your college, friends you’ve known for years, and a worldwide community. This is what most people do not have the opportunity to realise – that it is possible to be queer, accepted, and happy.
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