1) Get a body double to attend classes for you. Going by the fact that you’re facing an acute attendance problem, the teacher will probably not remember your face anyway
2) Record your voice saying “present ma’am/ sir!” and ask your friend to play it whenever needed
3) Submit a medical explaining how it’s impossible for you to attend classes because you suffer from a bad case of classroom-o-phobia
4) Mail letters from some distant place like Kazakhstan stating that you were in a training camp for Rope Skipping and so were unable to attend college though heaven knows how badly you wanted to.
5) Say that your hefty bodyguard with an AK47 will be very pleased to explain the state of your attendance if only the teacher could spare some time and meet him in a shady corner behind the college
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