By Sex Amma
Q: My problem is simple. I have a ” so-called” friend of Face book who’s pretty and nice and all those things I’d want to “see” in her. But she’s kind of a B-list online friend for me and I don’t fancy a lot of things she does. Will it be rude if I click the “remove friend” tab against her name. It’s not hampering my social life or anything, so I don’t feel the need really. But it just doesn’t feel right man. What do i do?
A: Haha I should probably adopt you. Ditching my “B-list online pals” has started to become my favourite pass time. I’ve been pestering my Google with this (eh Google here is not my dog) and guess what, the New Oxford American Dictionary officially named unfriend the “it” word of 2009. Please please join my bandwagon for I’ve done the world a great deed by ID-ing the reasons which should tell you that it’s time to kick the “so-called” friends out of your social networking life. So I’m going to wear my most gorgeous sari and put on my dark glasses and shout to tell you to CHECK-THIS-OUT!
#1. She’s a firm believer that you can learn a lot about your health from your poop — and has the status updates to prove it.
#2. You’ve only met her once but he “likes” everything you do on Facebook. Uh, stalk much?
#3. You’re pretty sure she doesn’t wear a dress and veil everyday, but the girl can’t stop posting pics of her.
#4. For those of you who’re “committed”, your girlfriend changing her status to single without breaking up in person. UNFRIEND NOW!
#5. One word: Farmville. (Even though I’m a big fan but UNFRIEND because I’m allowed, I’m sex amma).
#6. She might not be on The Biggest Loser but for some reason she wants the entire world to know what she had for lunch, how many miles she just ran, and when she is sweating it out at the gym!
#7. She has a passion for tagging you in all those random “best pals on face book” photos. She’s obviously hinting a bit too much. Maybe she should try getting the hint.
#8.EVERY WORD SHE WRITES IS IN CAPS FOLLOWED BY A TRUCK FULL OF EXCLAMATIONS!!!!!!!!
#9. She added you hoping to “re-connect” but it’s been 10 years since you accepted the request and STILL haven’t “re-connected”!
#10. You call her “mom”!
I can never mean to favour the male sex. I’m fond of them but I love my sisters a lot more. So for all my girlies, just replace the she with a he. I would’ve ripped them boys had a girl sent in this question. Happy Face Book-ing to my bachchas. :)
Wrapped in a crisp, golden-bordered traditional Keralite nine-yard; hair glistening with coconut oil and twirled in a garland of mullapuh (white jasmines) ; a dab of kumkum on her forehead, she sits among aromatic candles and mountains of books on the most tabooed subject- SEX. Having devoted a lifetime to sex, sexuality, sexual rights and reproductive life; it's quite a mystery how she's upheld her virginity (or so she claims, and promises to share how she managed to do so with our readers in the upcoming issues).
Living on a houseboat in the backwaters of Kerala, she will wait to hear from her children in Delhi University every week, and will answer all their queries with copious amounts of objective, non-intrusive advice, served with a pinch of humour, and sprinkled with tales of triumphs and tribulations of her own sex life- which are today part of her village's folklore.
So, dear DUB reader...welcome to the world of Sex Amma, your weekly confidante on all questions on that ssshhhh topic. Use the handy form below or email her your queries at sexamma@dubeat.com. All you need to write to her is your question, Sex Amma won't ask for your age, gender or relationship status unless required to answer your query.
P.S.: "Aiyo...Flouting ethics of confidentiality is against my principles", informs Sex Amma.
No Comments
Leave a Reply