Q. Dear Amma, I am in a friends-with-benefits relationship with a girl. We make out a lot, and we quite like it. But she is not open to going all the way and I am desperate to do it. She keeps telling me it should be with somebody I love, but I can’t help hoping. What do I do? Please help.

 

A. Aiiyyoo, my little macchi-out-of-water! First of all, congratulations on finding another out-of-water macchi! I find these relationships a blessing from the Heavens. You don’t have to climb the coconut tree to get the coconut; it just comes to you, no strings attached!

 

About your little trouble in paradise, you must respect her decision. Maybe she is saving herself for her perfect coconut!  You could try expressing your desperate need to her while sipping delicious coconut water from the same coconut but little macchi do not force her. The lady macchi will swim away before you can say rawa idli.

 

If nothing works my  steamy plate of Puliyodharai, there are plenty more fish in the backwaters of Kerala, and around you. Since it is just a casual fling, go steam your idlis elsewhere!