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The FOMO of Not Living on Campus

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Early morning classes can kill you on the inside, and the weariness from attending five back-to-back lectures is enough for you to consider dropping out. But, the real heartbreak happens when your friends, who live on campus, make plans to go out at 8 p.m., and you can’t join in because travelling back home takes you two hours alone. In this moment, you truly feel the FOMO of not staying on campus.

Fresh out of the cages of you school life, college becomes synonymous to freedom and fun- to hours of hanging out with friends, to shop, and to go out to drink or eat. You feel unstoppable, the life at Delhi University is famously known for its leisure and easy accessibility to a number of trendy and hip hang-out spots.

And then you receive a churlish reality-check when you realise that travelling to college from places away from campus buries your dreams to the ground. By the time your friends make a plan to go out to eat at someplace you’ve all been dying to go to, you’re halfway across the city at Rajiv Chowk, suffocating with everybody else on the Blue-Line, making to your way to back to Noida, or getting off at IFFCO Chowk after hours of weary travel in a cramped metro with busted air conditioning. Even if plans are made when you’re in attendance, you are unable to join them because that going out with everybody at 6 p.m. means getting done by 8, which inevitable means  reaching home by 9. Assuming you don’t have a curfew, you still say no because boarding the metro during office hours is a person’s worst nightmare.

It is then that you realise that you’ll forever be the “responsible friend” when everyone is drinking, not because you do it out of the goodness of your heart, but because you have to. You know you have no other option- there’s no way you can travel in the metro while you’re wasted, and there’s no way your mother won’t call you once the clock strikes 7, if you decide to stay back and recuperate. It is always missing out on society meets, and then feeling like a slacker when you can’t attend impromptu training sessions because boarding the metro after 4 means hell. You will have to miss out on seminars and unpremeditated extra classes by professors who keep last minute extra classes, and don’t take into consideration that not everybody lives 20 minutes away from college. It is coming to terms that you’ll always, always be tired no matter how much you sleep and that you will need an entire Sunday to catch up on your week’s sleep.

You understand after the first week that your happening school-schedule of falling asleep at 2 a.m. will be going down the drain because you will start falling asleep at 10 p.m.- even before your parents-to wake up at 6 a.m. and feel like an old person. And lastly, it’s the feeling of wanting to abandon your ancestral roots of being non-violent and floor a person the moment they say, “just shift to campus na, yaar!”

Feature Image Credit: Ivy Marketing

Shreya Juyal

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JOMO v/s FOMO

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In this happening world, it is quite impossible to catch up with everything and we end up missing on something or the other. The feeling of joy or fear of missing out on something is what decides if you have JOMO or FOMO. 

In the world of social media, keeping up with all the latest happenings, attending social events and parties forms a part of the list of things that we’re supposed to do. You open Instagram once and see people vacationing or partying and feel sad about the fact that you are working or studying. This is where FOMO starts. Going out, meeting new people, making friends and learning new things brings happiness to some people. However, there are a set of people who feel better to not connect with people and miss out on social events and at the same time feel good about it. Knowing about the fact that somewhere someone is having a good time but not being impacted by it is what the opposite of FOMO called JOMO stands for.

There are a number of people around us who face both JOMO and FOMO. The two terms are an antithesis to each other. While JOMO is all about disconnecting, opting out and being okay with where you are, FOMO is the fear of missing out on something that others are a part of. Feeling sad about the fact that your friends are having fun at a party that you aren’t invited to makes up for FOMO. In contrast to this, JOMO refers to understanding ourselves and choosing what we want to do or not do. 

Aatreyee Tamuly, a second-year student of Miranda House feels that the whole trend of FOMO started with the coming up of social media. She further adds, “Every second person now seems to be suffering from FOMO which leads to sadness or even depression. Even now there might be one person on your social media enjoying and this will make you doubt what you are currently doing.” However, she feels like she suffers from both FOMO and JOMO at different times. She adds, “I have severe FOMO when friends make plans without me but I have JOMO on missing on to some family functions and other events.”

Priyanshi Singh said, “I have FOMO when there is some BTS concert going on”. Another student of Miranda House, Dhritee Bordoloi also feels that she suffers from both the syndromes and it completely depends on the situation. She said, “I have FOMO when there are get-togethers and I am not invited. In college as a first-year kid seeing people go out and have fun made me feel left out and lonely. However, I feel JOMO when I have had a tiring week and want to spend some time with myself. In such a situation, no matter what a lit life others are having, I am relieved to be in my own room spending time alone.”

FOMO and JOMO are concepts that differ from person to person. Being college goers, it is very common to suffer from FOMO. However, FOMO is a syndrome which can have worse outcomes while JOMO can help you lead a happy life. Being in your own comfortable space and feeling good about it is the mantra to a happy life. There are a number of reasons for embracing JOMO. Spending our free time consumed by the drama of social media leads to a lack of time for other activities. Getting away from FOMO and moving towards JOMO will get you more time for carrying out productive tasks.  

Saving up on money is, of course, the main reason for embracing JOMO. While FOMO can leave you in debt, JOMO can help you save up for anything that you wanted to buy. Being free from unwanted commitments and online addictions also mean more space and time for spontaneous acts and unplanned moments. Another important benefit of JOMO is that it allows you to experience life at its fullest. It helps us slow down and know ourselves better.

We’ve got one life and we can’t spend it with the fear of missing something. 

As Naina in Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani said, “Life mei jitna bhi try karo, kuch na kuch to chootega hi. Isliye jahan hain, wahan ka hi maza lete hai. (No matter how hard we try; we can’t explore everything. So it’s better to enjoy where we are, what we do and appreciate what we have.)”

It is better to be joyful and choose real connections rather than shallow distractions. 

Feature Image Credits: Wonder How to

Priya Chauhan

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Struggling With FOMO in College Life

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College students often find themselves grappling with the Fear Of Missing Out, endearingly shortened to ‘FOMO’, as they struggle to keep their lives together. Here’s delving deep into this fear to understand it better.

College years are an amalgamation of a never-ending struggle for attendance, CGPA, friends, and social life. Managing all of these dimensions, and devoting equal attention to all of these aspects become quite impossible and we end up missing out on one thing or the other in our bid to keep them all in our control. No matter how much we try, acing the art of keeping a perfect balance between all these aspects is one Herculean task.

“I need to complete my assignments and my friends are out there partying and having fun,” or “I’ll miss out on an awesome trip with my friends if I pursue this internship in the summers,” and the more famous one, “I must keep up with the show that I hate, because I want to be relevant” etc.. If you have had similar thoughts draining you out of joy and making you constantly discontented with your life, you are suffering from a syndrome called FOMO.

FOMO is defined as anxiety than an exciting or an interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media.

Youngsters are most vulnerable to FOMO as anxiety of living a perfect life and comparing their lifestyles with that of their peers constantly pressurize them. Darlen McLaughlin, assistant professor at the Texas A&M Health Science College says, “FOMO is especially rampant in the millennial community because they see a peer achieving something they want, and somehow in their mind, that achievement means something is being ‘taken away’ from them.” This could, perhaps, be linked to the kind of connectivity that we have – with people posing on Instagram, Facebook, etc., it becomes difficult not to compare yourself with others. And the verity of the virtual image of people is always a big question mark, that seems to get blurred in our fit of envy.

Constantly getting affected by this fear hampers productivity and ends up in acute dissatisfaction. Thus, dealing with FOMO in a smart manner is essential to retain one’s sanity.

It becomes imperative to internalize the fact that no matter what you do, you’ll always miss out on something. Constantly dwelling on what you are missing out will strip you of your satisfaction. It is also significant to prioritise, so you invest your time in activities that are yielding and actually interest you. So, tell yourself that’s okay to miss a few parties or outings as you are working towards an even more important goal.

Besides, this idea of the Gen-Y, that says that there has to be this constant state of bliss is especially problematic. Not saying that there shouldn’t be ambition, or motivation to be able to do everything, but one must realise that it is okay to have bad days, or dissociation, or not having watched the show that everyone seems to be talking about.

Bottom line is that for everyone, their mental health should be their number one priority, even if it means disappointing your friends and peers.

 

Image Credits: The Irish Times

 

Shreya Agrawal

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Decoding FOMO

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A derivative of what the 21st century’s social media holds, let us figure out what truly is this FOMO.

As we swung in a fast forward motion to the world of social media and the smartphone, making our life buzzing (pun-intended) and also distanced in a way. It was a strange discovery after going through a workmate’s personal text to me, that while I declare myself as a millennial child, the bearing of FOMO in the lingo intrigued me, and here is how it goes.

FOMO stands for the Fear Of Missing Out. What really captivates me is its uncanny rhyme to my favourite street food ‘momo’ and the tenacity of the mind to control the urge to have some. Keeping this digression aside, let us focus on the coinage of this slang. The surge of this term grew somewhat in the phase when Instagram rocked the entire globe. Not even one celebrity post or any major event has the comments section missing out on this “FOMO”.

We all come across some of these things, “I didn’t read this tweet that was posted by xyz celebrity”, “I haven’t posted a story of this breaking news on my Instagram!”, “I can’t believe two of my workmates are dating, their pictures say otherwise”, “I wish I could’ve gone to this party”, “I wish I had a dressing sense like her, it’s amazing” and much more.

The FOMO is a feeling of being left out or having a tendency to feel insecure upon realization that one misses out on a particular event or a story or any other happening which influences their life. In the words of Annie Rana, a literature student from Maitreyi College, “FOMO for me arises definitely upon scrolling through my Instagram feed, that too when my weekends are spent in my house, as opposed to going for a night-out with my friends or missing out on something in my social circle’s calendar.”

Studies conducted by different research groups suggest a binary approach to understanding FOMO. While one research group asserts it is a general anxiety over the idea that others are having a more content and fulfilling time without you, whereas the other research groups states it to be a social anxiety which revolves around a continuous urge to be connected with the activities of one’s friends or other people.

We all can admit that we have all felt this fear of being left out once or twice (or more for some), especially if we are to believe in the delusions of conventionality. Taking the case of the youth, FOMO arises especially if we witness someone, who we are connected to socially having a great time around, probably a fancy lunch, or a weekend party, as opposed to our plans, which might be to laze around in the company of our bed and duvet, making us feel that we are ‘boring’ or have no ‘social life’.  It is also believed that the people, who experience FOMO, are in fact very active on social media, accrediting to the constant exposure to others’ lives and being up to date about it, creating an unnecessary feeling of being bothered and having bouts of self-doubt in you.

Heena Garg, a second year student of Maitreyi College comments, “I have witnessed the feeling of FOMO quite a lot. My friends who are outstation students have more access to partying or ‘chilling’ around frequently, due to the state of their accommodation like PGs or apartments, as opposed to me, who usually prefers weekends as time to spend with the family. It bothered me a little at first, but I think I have accepted this fact and in fact it makes me more joyous. It is about knowing what makes you really happy and to really stop doubting yourself as a person, because everyone has different interests when it comes to spending their time.”

Due to its widespread use, the word is now a part of the Oxford Dictionary, ever since 2013, making it as valid a term, as any other word from the language.

The feeling of FOMO also hints at a hidden desperation or a need to be validated by the others. Most online shopping sites also use this tactic to a fine advantage. Social media handles which portray the quirkiest and eclectic collections become online favourites among users quick due to their different approach and also because the FOMO factor which is targeted in the users, making one believe what they are buying is definitely the next big thing or definitely something which will make them look much more cool.

The question which we should ask ourselves is, how do we get rid of this online disease? The answer is simple. Opting for a social media detox. While others may chide it as useless, or something which comes off as very ‘first world-ish problem’, a social media break, in fact helps you to focus better and to stop consuming much of your time lingering around others’ feeds or stalking them and then feeling worse about yourself. Taking this break will help you to find time for yourself and most certainly give you time for the much needed introspection. Why a lot of people have now started opting and recommending for a social media break is because we all need it at some point ot the other. It is exhaustive and it is impressionable. It makes us want to blend in better, making us thus feel detached from our true identities’, resulting in this feeling of being as lost and clueless as ever.

Hence, FOMO, as hideous as this acronym may sound, is in fact much more a grave thought. I suggest, we all take a step back from this incessant need to be involved into other people’s lives and invest our time to better causes.

 

 Image Credits: giphy

Avnika Chhikara

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Dealing with FOMO in the First Year of College

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Feeling a little unguarded, somewhat alienated, and left-out; these are some of the emotions every first-year student experiences in the varsity. Read on to find how much you relate to this FOMO.

Our minds are truly very efficient in the act of abbreviating words, phrases, and expressions. Fear of missing out, popularly called FOMO, is a promising contestant in this ‘Championship for the Most Used Abbreviation’. Social
media updates in the past few months have been smattered with this FOMO. As everyone would acknowledge, the University of Delhi is always bustling with activities. There is always an event happening, and with every event that manifests, with its promised delights, it becomes a challenge to decide which one you would attend. With so many events, and opportunities waiting, one is bound to miss out on some of these. Let’s face it, if dates of two fests clash,
you cannot be at Tarang and Mecca at once. It is important to prioritise and make your experiences worth remembering, rather than participating in everything.

Thus, the problem is amplified for us, the first-year students at the University. The phase of transition is undoubtedly challenging. Every milestone comes as an expectation of a quick transformation. But it is very important to realise that the process of transformation is slow and in this process, there is a lot that needs to be given up.For instance, if you apply for an internship, you will be coerced to give up on your Netflix binge.
Amidst professional commitments and companionships, there is always a trade-off. Understandingthe economics of this subject matter, say, the presence of companionships in an internship,is important. But this, in no way
implies that indulgence in a social exchange is undesirable, or futile. It is the complex trade-off that evokes the said FOMO. For the longest time, you have been told that college can skyrocket you into the space of your dreams. However, it is true that college can be a tough pedestal where fixating on things can cause distractions. Sometimes,
it is better to let go of some things, and grasp other things.
In the decision regarding this trade-off, a more pressing question haunts you, how do you decide that the that the choices you make are for the good? You do not.These choices have to be made, sometimes instinctively, and other times more consciously. However, more importantly, this is just one element in the various elements that constitute FOMO. The idea of FOMO disables gratitude.

One of the biggest challenges of college is finding your place, and footing in a tough crowd. For some of us, this discovery comes naturally. But for many others, this exploration is exhausting to a depressing extent. This imbalance
also prepares you for a special bond. You can never fixate on opportunities or people. The right people will hep you discover organic relationships with pure joy. ‘The fear of missing out’ will only be a joke to you when you will see how celebrated you feel in good company. You will discover your true blessings in thecelebrations. Though it is not easy,
we would all be a lot better off if we considered our gratitude more honestly. FOMO then, becomes asettled idea until the point when it slims down to a realisation that enables you to enjoy the moment instead of dwelling on the chanceslost. So, the next time you feel lost, feel it truly. It is only in the losing that we find ourselves.

Feature Image Credits: The Buzzing Story

 

Kartik Chauhan

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