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Friday, February 10, 2012. This date will be marked as one of the darkest pages in the history of  DU. In an incident that is nothing short of frightening, a terrible stampede at Ramjas College injured several students. The college was hosting its annual fest and a certain singer, who goes by the name of Honey Singh, was to perform there at 6.30pm.

At 4pm, the traffic intersection between Delhi School of Economics and Ramjas was in a state of complete chaos with police vans speeding towards Ramjas from all sides. The rumours and panic that spread among the students who were on the road at that time, did little to help the already grave situation. The speculations soon became wild and reached all the way to Vishwavidyalaya metro station where stories of a possible death were doing the rounds.

Fortunately, there have been no reports to indicate that any lives were lost. However, a girl (rumoured to be a student of Dyal Singh College) allegedly fell in the stampede and was so severely injured by the rushing crowd that she had to be admitted to a hospital and is still in ICU. “ It was a nightmare, there is no other way to explain it. I regretted going there so badly that I was almost in tears,” said a student on the condition of anonymity.

The college authorities are underplaying the incident because the blame for the entire fiasco is being pinned on them. Students were initially entering one by one in an orderly fashion when the college decided to throw the gates open to make their job simpler. “ We decided to open the gates at 3pm because a very large crowd had already gathered by then. A girl felt slightly uncomfortable and was rushed to a hospital,” said the Principal of the college.

  1. The Stand-up comic Abish Mathew won over the LSR centric audience with his charming ways and inside jokes about cats, our complete dependence on Balbir ‘dabbang’ Bhaiya for crisis of all kind and gave the women some precious insight to the working of the supposedly ‘one track’ male psyche.
  2. The Principal planted an affectionate peck on the cheek of Monsieur Mathew at the end of the performance on the pretext of ‘doing what every girl in the auditorium wanted to’ and stole the show (as always), leaving the recipient of the said peck in a state of visible disbelief.
  3. An armada of XY chromosome was noted to be gravitating towards the quizzing event. Sometimes stopping on their way to ask the directions to the Upper Seminar Room with the hesitance that only a seemingly intimidating same sex institution can fill in one in a shy yet polite manner.
  4. Vinay Bhushan, a character reminiscent of Shahrukh Khan’s portrayal of Surinder Sahni in Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi in his blatant simplicity had the audience rooting for him since the very first scene where he brushes his teeth on stage. Post his performance in the KMC production ‘The Line’, an enthusiastic fan was shocked to discover that the actor’s accented English was a part of the act and words like ‘chiterr’ (sic) were not a part of his off stage vocabulary.
  5. The audience at Yavnika – the Stage Theatre event was an extremely temperamental one, rushing out to only to re-enter (with food hidden inside their bags) every time the doors of the auditorium were opened after a performance.
  6. The English Debating Society was spotted practicing their dancing skills at the registration desk while waiting for participants to stream in. Watching the President of the Society learn the steps to ‘subah hone na de’ with so much sincerity while simultaneously mouthing the words was the only thing that kept the NSS volunteers helping with Tarang Security entertained.
  7. It was interesting to see people purchasing earrings, eating Chinese food and test driving a Tata Nano in the same venue.
  8. The flash mob may not have been a total surprise but +10 points for the choice of the single ladies sound track. One could safely say that the strict security measures and the exclusivity of the passes ensure that the ladies of this college remain single forevermore, for the boys who do manage to make their way into the campus ‘if you like it then you should put a ring on it.’Pragya Lal
    [email protected] 

  • The silk shirt, red pants and orange sneakers you own must not be put to display this season. Some things are best hidden in the dark depths of your cupboard.
  • This is not the best occasion to apply copious amounts of Gatsby hair gel that you may have won at the BITS PILANI fest during a quiz.
  • Pickup lines like “You turn my software into hardware” will only lead to loss of self-respect and a tooth.
  • Belting out ‘shirdi wale sai baba’ in an inebriated state during an informal event is a NO-NO.
  • Staring pointedly at anything but the face of your girl pal could be a cause of trouble.
  • Facebook status updates like “ Duuudeee, there are many fish in this sea” or “Guess who is getting lucky tonight?” will not work in your favour.
  • Always remind yourself that the Axe effect is a fictional phenomenon, spraying the entire contents of the deodorant bottle on you will not result in anything positive.
  • So, you are the President of the debating society of your college/played Julius Caesar in a school play/have been offered a hefty pay package by on campus recruiters but if that’s all you choose to talk about then my sympathies lie with the person you are conversing with.
  • At all times avoid reading passages from the Satanic Verses to woo your lady love lest you be forced to leave the country.
  • Only superman can get away with wearing his underwear on top of his pants, if you don’t have any superpowers then please refrain from wearing your pants 2 inches below their rightful spot. The world will continue to spin on just fine without the knowledge of which brand’s underwear you sport.Pragya Lal [email protected]
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