Bazinga: Only Shades Of Saffron Allowed For Holi

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The Bharatiya Jabardasti Patriotic Party (BJPP) has issued a notification banning the use of all colours except shades of saffron during Holi this year.

The State office issued a circular to all manufacturers and suppliers of gulal and other forms of colours used in Holi to stop production and sale of all colours other than saffron. According to the circular, the only acceptable colours are yellow, amber, gold and orange. Other shades, especially red and green have been deemed as anti- national. The notification has faced heavy criticism from the Traders’ Association. Rangeeley Haath, a member of the association was caught saying, “The Bharatiya Jabardasti Patriotic Party has created much confusion in the market because of this move. The youth is demanding a variety of colours and is threatening to boycott Holi altogether if more colours aren’t supplied. This rule implies heavy losses for us.” 
The move has been criticised by other parties as well. A senior member from Alag Aadmi Party told one of our correspondents, “Ye saare rang miley huyein hain ji! Rango mein milawat hai, humaari Party ko phasaane ki scheme hai ye! We shall not let this happen. We are holding a dharna –cum –Holi party at Jantar Mantar this Friday in protest where all colours will be used.”

The Bharatiya Jabardasti Patriotic Party has also directed colleges to hold Rain Dance this Holi for their students, albeit, in accordance with the notification. The students unions of various colleges have started their preparations for the same.
Disclaimer: Bazinga is our weekly column of almost believable fake news. We strongly support a colourful Holi!

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