Humouroscope: 11th – 17th August, 2013

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Keep that uni-brow of yours intact. Despite what people say, that little jungle above the caves of your eyes will ward of all evil.

Buy Vicco Turmeric and sing its jingle. The chords of this never changing jingle are said to improve memory.

No, do not listen to SRK when he says use Fair and Handsome Its coming from a man who did Ra.1 and Chennai Express.

Did you know your zodiac is a potential Pokemon name?

Dance to “Single Ladies” by Beyonce and post it on YouTube. The number of likes will be equal to the marks you get next semester.

Get a rooster for yourself, nothing else can help you catch the 8:45 class.

Translate “Balam Pichkari” into English and try to make sense of it. If you’re successful you deserve an award.

Wear shoes that have “YOLO” imprinted on the bottom surface that touches the ground, and happily walk to glory

You’ll see that a lady in blue is following you around. She is from the mere -people, go ahead, talk to her and find out that Harry Potter is real.

Count the number of buttons on your shirt, that’s the number of true friends in your life. However, if you’re wearing a Being Human T shirt, you do not deserve friends.

Why is a car named after your zodiac? Melody Khao khud jaan jao.

Commit a crime, go to jail and then try to pull off a Shawshank Redemption. This is your only way to become a movie star.

Journalism has been called the “first rough draft of history”. D.U.B may be termed as the first rough draft of DU history. Freedom to Express.

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