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As the world mourns actor Matthew Perry’s passing, let’s delve into why his most famous character has had a lasting impact on media and culture.

Few characters have left a lasting mark on the realm of humour quite like Chandler Bing. Matthew Perry’s character on ‘Friends’, as the resident funnyman of the ensemble cast, became a symbol of relatable comedy for an entire generation and continues to do so even in 2023, which unfortunately became the year of the actor’s sad demise. Reminiscing on his most beloved role, let’s break down why it has had such an enduring impact on popular culture decades after the show drew the curtains.

Defined by his distinctive wit, Chandler was a crucial ingredient in the success of ‘Friends’. His quick one-liners and mastery of sarcasm quickly became the exact kind of comedy he would go on to be known for. More specifically, the character’s way of finding humour in difficult situations, coupled with Perry’s deadpan delivery, is what made the audience see themselves in him and fundamentally changed the way people appreciate humour.

Sarcasm had long been a powerful force in storytelling, long before the character of Chandler came along. Classic examples include Rick Blaine in ‘Casablanca’, who displayed the strength of humour as a coping mechanism in the face of adversity, or Alex Keaton in the sitcom ‘Family Ties’, whose witty remarks in family settings made him emerge as the hilarious fan favourite.

However, what perhaps differentiated Chandler from similar pursuits of comedy in the past was an added layer of relatability. The use of self-deprecating humour struck a chord with fans as they watched him face insecurities when it comes to both his personal and professional endeavours, and that is something that is inevitably tied to the human experience. Getting through tough times eventually, but laughing at yourself on the way there, proves to be better than sulking throughout. This is what Chandler Bing essentially embodied, and Matthew Perry’s charming portrayal made it look easy.

Another important aspect of Chandler’s likeability was that he portrayed vulnerability and sensitivity in a time when the’macho’ persona was the norm for most male characters. His shy and awkward demeanour made a generation of young men feel like it was okay to not put on a tough exterior all the time.

The sitcom’s success further helped the character reach a wider audience as it continued to gain international fame. For many Indians, ‘Friends’ was their first exposure to Western media. Chandler Bing became a cultural icon, with his most famous dialogues being quoted and referenced often. His influence permeated other sitcoms and characters, and classic meme formats stemmed from his character. His comedic style became and stayed a prevalent element in contemporary media.

However, like anything else, and rightfully so, Chandler Bing was not free from criticism. Given the social atmosphere at the time the show was filmed, various jokes that were made reinforced harmful stereotypes. Newer audiences therefore have a harder time accepting some of the humour used in certain dialogues between the characters and the show in general. Nevertheless, the legacy of Matthew Perry’s beloved character has remained, and his influence is felt everywhere in media and culture.

So today, as you mourn Matthew Perry’s passing, maybe rewatch your favourite ‘Friends’ episodes and let Chandler Bing reiterate the fundamental lesson that laughter has the power to make any situation feel at least a little bit better.

Read also: 5 Best American Sitcoms of the 90s that Still Remain Classics

Featured Image Credits: Medium

Arshiya Pathania
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The internet age, especially the reign of social media and the increasing prominence of pop-culture has brought with it the infamous ‘labelling culture’ and brought with it bouts of armchair psychologists. While we have willingly accepted and internalized the ‘Instagram trend’ of fixer-culture, it’s imperative now that we stand back and actually think about it. Can your well-meaning 3AM-therapist friend also be harmful to some extent? What’s wrong with armchair psychology? It’s time to deep dive.

Quite often, you have heard your ‘selfish’ roommate being called a ‘narcissist’ or your ‘socially-awkward’ friend being randomly labelled as ‘autistic’ within your friend circle. This is what we call as armchair psychology- jumping to labels and conclusions without understanding a person’s behavioural context or even being qualified enough or licensed to diagnose individuals with mental health labels. And this is going wrong in several ways.

When we talk about ‘armchair psychologists’, it refers to individuals who are not licensed to practice therapy or treat mental-health related issues, or in simple words, aren’t the professionals. This also includes your 3AM-therapist friend, as well. But you might say that your friend only means to give you ‘friendly advice’ but usually it isn’t true. As Gen-Zs inspired by Instagram culture, we often are swallowed by the ‘labelling culture’. Your so-called therapist friend also comes into a loop of inserting labels to your problems- “Stop being a psychopath”, “Don’t be so bipolar about stuff”, “You’re so possessive”, “So hyper-sensitive” or “so obsessive” yada yada yada.

Professional psychotherapists usually do not jump ahead and insert labels to issues. They go through several sessions, slowly analysing patterns and try to resolve individual aspects, rather than attaching labels to your personality. Giving mental health advice without formal training not only may push individuals to internalize those pseudo-labels and associate them to their problems but also may tend to neglect real mental health disorders. Armchair psychology leaves the other person out of the conversation, allowing you to put on your ‘judgy’-goggles and restricting their persona according to your own perspective. Not everybody you dislike is a “psychopath”, when you judge people so soon, it stops them from opening up about their struggles. They tend to internalize the fact that they are probably a ‘psychopath’ and that’s when the cycle of harm begins.

While the Instagram age has opened up more avenues to have open and honest conversations about mental health and but this has also opened doors to an influx of armchair-psychologists. Taking it upon yourself to speculate other people’s mental health can be damaging. Hushed conversations like “Your ex-boyfriend is a total narcissist” or calling out celebrities on twitter, the age of armchair therapists is troublesome nevertheless.

Armchair psychology can even go beyond labelling, it may seem like – diagnosing someone with a mental health condition (“You definitely have borderline personality disorder, all the symptoms are there!”), offering psychological advice (“The only way to get over your triggers is to face them head on”) or making judgement about someone’s personal psychology (“She had a traumatic childhood so she trusts nobody around her”). This pretension of being experts trivialises the heavy weight of being diagnosed with mental health conditions and also propels stereotypes- not everyone who is socially-awkward falls on the autism spectrum and not every selfish person is a narcissist.

Moreover, armchair psychology can even lead to stigmatizing mental-health issues. Associating people’s controversial or abusive behaviour with mental health issues, perpetuates a harmful and inaccurate image of how people with mental issues behave. You tend to pathologize normal behaviour. Sometimes your roommate is just having a bad day and we do not need a diagnosis or a deeper psychological motivation as to why your friend is behaving the way she is.

But this pseudo-psychology, cuts down on ways to get proper treatment. If your loved one is truly struggling with a mental health issue, providing unqualified opinion to them might lead them down the wrong path for their recovery or even hinder them from reaching out towards professional resources or the help they need. On most days, they don’t need their friends to act like experts; they just need encouragement, support and someone who will listen.

While the well-intentioned therapist friend, often takes on the role of a ‘fixer’ with their ‘I can fix all your problems and you’ attitude, it’s time we start calling out this armchair-psychology. If you’re being targeted by an armchair psychologist, try to acknowledge their concerns, set boundaries and call out the harms. It’s absolutely okay to say, “I’m coming to you as a friend. I don’t need you to act like my therapist.” Or if you notice someone targeting someone else, be courageous enough to say,” As friends, our job is to support them, not judge them”.

Often times, we tend to act as armchair psychiatrists ourselves, unconsciously or consciously. Ending on a note of advice for all those therapist friends, if you are concerned about someone’s mental health, reach out and check in with their condition, and instead of passing labels and stereotypes, listen without judgement and connect them to proper resources, so that they can heal the right way.

Even though you might have an overwhelming urge to give advice and fix their issues, sometimes the best thing you can do is show them the right mental health resources, and be the friend they need you to be 🙂

Featured Image Credits: Google Images (IMDb)

Read Also: It’s Not Your Job to Fix Others

Priyanka Mukherjee

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When the story unravels, a new episode comes out, your favourite actor plays the character, often the best of us make the wrong judgement and internalise these problematic characters from our favourite movies and TV Series. Here is a piece deconstructing and splitting the problematic image of the character away from the actor.

A tragic past, a bright mind or a great sense of humour are a few of the many things that blind us when it comes to characters from one’s favourite TV shows, series or novels. They are highly relevant to the story; their charming grin or the caring attitude almost makes one forget their problematic behaviour. The constant reaffirmations that they receive from the other characters of the show help hide their sexist, condescending or manipulative behaviour. It then becomes extremely important to question one’s love for the character and see them with a fresh and woke perspective. Here is a list of how the behaviours of some of the most popular characters are the most problematic ones.

  1. Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother

Barney Stinson is probably one of the most loved characters of the series. He’s charming and quirky. His bro-code and tricks almost make him too likeable. However, it must not be forgotten that he was a sex-obsessed womaniser who treated women like objects, who tricked and mislead them into sleeping with him. Even when he and Robin (another character from the show and his wife later on) were together he lied to her under the guise of good intentions and romantic gestures. It’s amazing he didn’t have multiple rape charges against him.

  1. Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City 

The leading character of Sex and the City was a selfish, manipulative and condescending friend. However, her writing the edgy fashion column makes us love her so much. The entire series revolve around four independent women in New York City and their strong friendship, however when her friends tell her about intimate and celebratory events in their life like pregnancy, miscarriage or cancer, she somehow made the situation about herself. Let’s not even get started on how badly she treated Aidan when he forgave her again and again.

  1. Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl

The tragic past of Chuck Bass and the pseudo-character development shown by the writers perfectly hide the fact, that Chuck Bass was a rapist. The worst part is that he’s marketed to young girls as a “hot bad-boy type” and we all bought into it.

In the episode premier, he first tries to force himself on his drunk friend, Serena and then on a 14-year old freshman, Jenny.  He even calls Serena a “slut” for stopping him to molest Jenny.

Chuck Bass is womaniser, who treats women like trophies and all that matters to him is the chase. He takes Blair’s virginity in the back of a limo mere hours after she breaks up with his best friend. However, he’s always saved by how Blair appreciates him and eggs him on.

Are we supposed to believe that Chuck was just going around assaulting women because he hadn’t yet found the right one? That he just needed someone who could challenge him, and he would see the error of his ways?

  1. Ezra Fitz, Pretty Little Liars

When you think about it, it’s gross how he’s celebrated as a great writer and literature professor and so justified for having an affair with his student, a minor.

His vocabulary and grammar syntax act as a perfect medium to hide how he acts all innocent dating a teenage girl. He never once shows remorse for his actions and expects to be appreciated for his epic love story and blames everyone else who finds a problem with his affair.

  1. Edward Cullen, Twilight 

The dream man of all teenage girl is well very problematic. The guy wanted to possess his girlfriend and control every aspect of her life. Few of the things you might’ve ignored were, the idea that Edward was initially attracted to Bella because he wanted to bite her, his teenage mood swings and how scares Bella to woo her. Not romantic, but creepy how he watches Bella while sleeping when he barely knew her. He follows her everywhere around and underestimates her in every situation. One must realise that love is not supposed to be a prison with your partner as the guard, isolating you from everyone else in the world.

  1. Patty Bladell, Insatiable 

All the characters are problematic as hell, but she is on another level. She tried to break up the marriage of her coach who was 20 years older to her and was the father of her crush. She kidnapped a girl, exposed a gay relationship, killed a guy, and when she had a teratoma she thought she’d eaten her twin. She was not some girl we pity for being bullied — she literally destroyed the lives of everyone around her.

  1. Ross Geller, Friends 

Ross Geller coming from the beloved show Friends often is saved because of the love he receives on screen from all the other cast members. If seen in a different way perspective, here are few things he has done. He lied to Rachel about getting their marriage annulled, for his own satisfaction. He tried to kiss his own cousin, and said, “she wants the same things you do” just because she requested to open a bottle of wine. Not only this, he’s extremely dismissive of Rachel’s career and in the last few episodes even convinced her to give up on a great opportunity. It’s ironical how his pervert nature of making his and Rachel’s sex tape without her consent, is applauded by his friends to act as an evidence. He doesn’t value consent, and feels that Rachel being naked is an invitation to him for sex. He’s a jerk who made us internalise “she was asking for it”.

With this article, there’s a hope we become more receptive to the kind of content we receive and consume. Let’s call out what’s wrong and problematic. We’ve had enough jokes on the identities of people.

It’s time to make everyone aware.

Stay woke, friends!

 

Feature Image Credits: What Would Bale Do

Chhavi Bahmba 

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One spends a chunk of their school lives making connections with classmates that continue for life, or do they?

School is indispensable. Most of the late-night stories my father used to recite to me involved him and his school buddies engaging in a ‘shaitaani (mischief)’ and then getting scolded by their Principal. Although, in the end, before sleeping he always used to wonder, where his friends are now?

We almost have every stereotypical trope in our classes in school. There is a fun gang, a notorious group, the rowdy boys, the toppers, the backbenchers, the teacher’s pet, the lover boy, everyone’s favourite, the snitch, and many more. Along with this, some experiences are also common to all- the infamous love-triangles (I am sure the teachers also bet on them), the made-for-each-other couples, the best friends forever, being the best class of the batch (every class felt that way), the most helpful kid in class, the birthday cakes cut in school in secret, the classes bunked to eat in the canteen, and many more.

School friends play an essential part in our lives. We experience our first bunks, first sprouts of rebelliousness, first crushes, first lies, first heartbreaks, and several other firsts alongside them. These memories shape one’s perspective in college makes the open to new ideas and people. However, the school also builds a wall of problematic bricks that we have to essentially break once we enter college. The infamous process of unlearning is a thing because of the problematic aspects one is fed in school.

Despite that, school friends still remain a close niche, a corner of our hearts is always filled with love for them. Be it that one friend with whom your ties loosened because you got into separate sections, that one annoying boy who used to crack lamest jokes ever, that topper who used to send you all the notes always, or the wittiest and wisest kid in school who is now studying across the sea, everyone is remembered in one way or the other.

Amongst all 120 kids in the batch, only five or six remain the ones whom you stay in touch with. They are safety-net you can always fall back on, a student from Gargi College calls them “her god-siblings”, she added that she could call them at 2 in the morning, crib about her day, and they will be willing to listen. “And I would do the same for them,” she said.

In spite of hectic college schedules, society meetings and practices, extra-curricular activities, and academic burdens, a connection among these friends stays, even if they live in the other part of the country. Social media plays an extensive role in this. It helps in staying connected and updated about each other’s lives, and helps bridge any communication gaps that may occur.

The influence of social media is such that now both my parents are back in touch with their school friends, reminiscing old days and crushing with nostalgia every now and then. My father now texts his school pals to ask how they doing, if he is curious about it.

Feature Image Source: Sakshi Arora for DU Beat

Sakshi Arora

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While everyone was going crazy over Avengers: Endgame being the last film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s current phase, others were signing petitions demanding a new ending to Game of Thrones season 8, and then there you were not caring 3000.

Before I am mistaken for someone who is against fandoms, let me clarify that I am not. One of the biggest obstacles that people belonging to this community that follows or likes the same entity of pop culture face is the tag of being “childish” or “mainstream”. These labels, I believe, are extremely unfair and slightly hypocritical. I, for one, am in the This Is Us fandom.

Fandoms arise because a book, movie, tv series or comic had something with which people could connect and relate. Marvel and DC comics or films gave that little 10-year-old hope, that good can defeat the evil or how superheroes exist, maybe inside all of us. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. was able to make many people laugh and happy after they had hit a low. Harry Potter series was more than just Wizardry and Witchcraft, for  it was as much about courage, goodness and friendship. The memes on adults surrounded by children in movie halls for Toy Story 4 is a testament to how these are a connect with our childhood.

The most popular ones suffer because they are always seen as mainstream, people doubting them for only “trying to be cool” and accusing them of following it because “everyone is watching this nowadays”.

But when Hannah Gatsby said, “I identify as tired”, we could all relate.

Not belonging to these fandoms does not make you a bad person or a person with lesser taste, in any way.

Some people simply watch these shows or films for the mere pleasure that comes out of it. Not knowing plot lines or details is not considered to be the biggest sin for us. I will reiterate, we all have our fangirling/ fanboying elements activated by different stimuli, but our passions vary in intensity. While legendary shows went on for many years, non-fandom people tend to find starting such shows daunting. The level of commitment and energy that is involved in watching 14 seasons of Supernatural, the whole Star Wars series, 15 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy among many, many more of “this is amazing, you should watch it”: very intimidating.

On speaking to such people, I realised, these group of people are simply Legen-wait for it-LAZY. On seeing that passionate friend of yours reiterating and trying to express how amazing something is, on the inside non-fandomers feel sorry for the effort wasted. It is not the absence of awareness or even questioning of the abilities of what writers can create. But simply having full insight and realising what does not appeal to you.

Maitreyi Pandey of Kamala Nehru College, who has never watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S. commented, “So, I believe a show or an association with a fandom is a very personal thing. Though, at times, I do feel annoyed when people keep on discussing about the one show over and over again and keep on pushing you to watch it. However, I never have felt the need to join the bandwagon, because if I don’t connect to the show, no matter how good it might be, I will not watch it.”

Whether it is F.R.I.E.N.D.S. versus How I Met Your Mother, Marvel vs DC, Hunger Games vs Divergent—for these people, the debate goes on. Unless someone brings up Brooklyn Nine-Nine, in which case there is no competition.

With the good comes the evil. Similarly, this new idea of “real” fan and “fake” fan has arisen. For those who have never seen or experienced this, you have been very privileged because the level of social bashing one can receive over the smallest of errors is on an all-time high. I remember how someone I know had mistakenly written John Snow, instead of Jon Snow. A wave of social bashing hit her before she even understood where she went wrong. Similarly, despite my really enjoying GoT (Game of Thrones), this statement will always be seen with suspicion till I can name the whole family tree correctly. So, when someone says to me, “You know nothing…”, I am okay with it.

If you binge every show on Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hotstar, Hulu and whichever new platform has come up, or even if you simply are too lazy or uninterested, either path is okay. With these platforms having left television far behind, we can see that the quality of story lines, plot twists, character developments and other tricks up a writer’s sleeve are endless.

I can only reflect on a time when GoT was to me the best show ever made, but This Is Us changed my mind, and frankly tomorrow night Chernobyl might. Each story competing with the others, and writers, creators and directors being challenged, we can learn to appreciate where we have come from only Sciences and STEM being applauded, as now even the artistic capabilities are seen with awe. All is well till we remember that compulsion is an illusion.

So, while some people googled which house the Sorting Hat will put them in, others chose not to, does that not sound like a fandom of its own?

Feature Image Credits: Geeks on Coffee

Shivani Dadhwal

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With this semester, the first-year of college comes to an end for many students. Let’s take a look at the learnings of a first-year student.

  • Exposure and Experience

The first year of college is an eye-opener to the real world, it gives you a view of adulthood and brings along a sense of independence. It doesn’t come easy to many, makes life difficult for a few, and lonely for others. But what it does give you is exposure and experience to cure that gaping hole of leaving your home, friends, school, and your city behind. An outstation student of the University said “Yeh Delhi ne toh meri Lucknow ki saari Nawabi hi nikal di, Kahan main vaha maze mein ghoomti thi, aur yahan auto vaalon se dus-dus rupaye ke liye ladti hoon (Delhi has taken away all the Lucknow royalty from me, I used to a carefree child. Here, in Delhi, I have to fight with the auto-rickshaw drivers for INR 10)” She agrees that college life has transformed her to become a better version of herself. She is able manage her finances well.

  • Friends and Family

Himanika Agarwal from Gargi College commented, “Everybody used to tell me that you never find real friends in college, even I used to believe that. But Glass Eye, the Film Making Society of Gargi College has given me some of the best friends I have ever had, who have now become my family.” In the first-year itself, you find your close group of friends who become your family and confidants, be it your classmates or the members of your college society, college helps you to find people who you remember all throughout.

  • Fests and Euphoria

The cultural fests organised by the University of Delhi (DU) colleges is another enlightening experience for the students. Fresh out of taking the first semester examinations, students attend fests with their ‘college gang’ looking up wide eyed at the glittering lights of concerts and competitions, breathing in the chaos, and adapting to the crowds.

My first-year, personally, gave me The Local Train, another staple name associated with the DU fests. This musical band and their brand of music, their lyrics, and the performances are worth it. Another student added, “I can easily say that my checklist for a happening college life ticked off with after attending Vishal-Shekhar’s concert at Mecca, the cultural fest of Hindu College.”

  • The ability to study overnight

College is not only fun and games, academics also play an important role. This involves projects, class presentations, reviews, internals, and exams. These conclusively teach every student to study or make a presentation a night before the submission. This might be unhealthy, but it is a fact.

  • A new perspective

Above all, for me, the first-year of college worked as a stepping stone in the process of unlearning patriarchal norms and misogynistic conditioning, we as naïve little kids were subjected to, throughout our childhood. Classroom discussions with strong opinionated teachers, debates with your peers and seniors, revolutionary texts and readings, interactions about the rights of the LGBTQ community, these have changed my perspective for the better. Looking back, I can now remember instances in the past which were problematic, but I didn’t realise earlier. These realisations are my achievements of gaining new and better ideologies and of becoming a more ‘woke’ individual.

Feature Image Credits: DU Beat

 

Sakshi Arora

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Goodbyes are meant to be cathartic, period.

The very first time I experienced a goodbye in my life was bidding adieu to my neighbour in Mumbai, to whom I was the closest to, as she parted to move to New Zealand. I was five and very oblivious to what a goodbye meant. A bye for me was customary to say when I parted with my friends, after an evening of playing with them by the swings; to kiss a goodbye to the elders as they would leave from their short stay at our place or to part from my cousins as we would come back home after the sweet summers. What all of these were to me were temporary, with an assurity of coming back. But the goodbye to my friend, as she went for a journey crossing seas, and starting a new life there, was new. The feeling never sunk in, of the fact that I will in fact never be seeing her soon enough and this is how the fear of a goodbye grew-because it grew so over bearing and emotional.

Image Credits: American Gallery
Image Credits: American Gallery

As we approach the time when we will be bidding adieu to many people- our beloved friends who will all graduate and go to different places, to our family from whom we will render away, and to so many other things which will come our way, because they are cyclical in their nature. For a beginning, there has to be an end. Everyone has a different sense of affiliation when it comes to parting. For me, it starts with the initial step of developing a sense of a slight fear, you know the one where you need to heave deep breaths and where you want to lure away into this whimsical land, as it is more peaceful than the reality next to you. It then starts with formulating skillfully crafted personalized messages, to each of the parting member, as you want that last proper conversation to mean something; after all we all value every single thing. The finality where you know this will be the present conclusion and then a dramatic vision of them fading away.

Why goodbyes are this bittersweet oxymoron is that they can be so sudden and they can be so drastic. The calculative element that surrounds a goodbye seems to get away into some other dimension. When I realised while typing this article out, this would be my last article for this workplace, a thousand ideas as vast and clueless as the seven oceans whizzed past me, and after keeping this one on hold for quite a long time, I knew that I needed to develop something which was ultimately, heartfelt. To peruse the thread, and not glide on to the hobby horse, i.e. memories for me; the keys started synchronising in a choir I half knew and half came magically as I scanned my brain for everything I did in the past ten months here with a calming bliss.

Image Credits:Torrie Smiley
Image Credits:Torrie Smiley

How does this upsetting feeling, feel better? Well, thanks to different arts of venting it out, for photographs which serve as a perennial memory, to the paranoia which will keep surfacing, but above all, to submitting yourself to Sinatra and lights out eyes closed feels, the realisation that the need to move on comes with a subconscious hope that we are moving onto something better. A supervisor of mine, from where I was last interning said, “The correct time to leave, will never really approach, but a point of satiety will. That is when you know to call it quits and move on.” From her verses, I gaze through my journey on so many different paths that I have crossed in these past nineteen cruising on twenty years. Every place you land on and are ready to take off from, remember to take the part of it you adore the most (which whilst explaining to people I say, “jaise kisi jagah ki mitti ko lekar aa rahe ho apne saath” as a touché’ souvenir), alongside a spiritual maturity you receive at every end.

Waving goodbye by FR Harper Image Credits: American Gallery
Waving goodbye by FR Harper
Image Credits: American Gallery

Its good and it’s a bye, it is bitter and it is sweet, paradoxical, but fortunate enough to depict us, this is what a conclusion to a current chapter in life is. The next battle is to move on, and while I cannot guarantee out of the two which would be relatively smoother, but the fact that when you will look up to the sky and realise every cloud has a silver lining, rise and shine to seize the new day!

And here as I will sign up for the last article, I thank every single reader, every single editor and team mate who has sailed with me for so far, and when I am here to place my anchor on the good shore, you will tread forward and I hope for the very best for you!

Image Credits: American Gallery
Image Credits: American Gallery

 

Feature Image Credits: Fine art America

Avnika Chhikara

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Approximately one third of the global adult population exhibits introverted traits, yet young adults often have difficulty using this personality trait to their advantage.

A college campus is a kaleidoscopic mix of hundreds of young adults, bustling with activity at any given point of time. There are people to see, clubs to join, and parties to turn up at. Oh, and sometimes there are classes to attend.The chaos of student life can prove to be quite overwhelming for most students. Some exhibit major FOMO, some procrastinate endlessly, some won’t speak up in class even when they know the right answer to a question, while others end up completely isolating themselves. In other words, the fear of losing what are supposed to be ‘the best years of your life’ sets in, and it’s daunting.

Everyone has extroverted and introverted traits, people just lean into different sides of the spectrum. In the first year of college, most of us face a personality overhaul. Generally, this change is a three tier process.

1. The Epiphany

School is a safe and gated community. Most students are extremely comfortable in the familiarity of their local schools, and the first few weeks at college introduces them to the hardships of adjustment, compromise and initiative. Students end up realizing or at least considering the fact that they might not be as social and amiable as they thought.

2. Denial

It is expected of people to want to be social and enthusiastic, most borderline introverts force themselves into uncomfortable situations to fit in better. We live in an over-competitive and capitalist society that particularly values extroverted traits because introversion is often considered to be a weakness. Susan Cain, famous author and Harvard Law School graduate, calls this the ‘Extrovert Ideal’. It is the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha and comfortable in the spotlight which causes introversion to be considered a ‘second class trait.’

In a university where class participation, group assignments with randomly assigned members and ‘networking’ are over emphasized, colleges often neglect to cultivate the introverted side of their students’ personalities.Anushree, a first year student at Lady Shri Ram College for Women says, “I am a very reserved person, it takes me a long time to adjust to change since I don’t connect with people that easily.”

Long story short, several people feel disadvantaged due to their social skills (or lack thereof) or disdain for excessive human interaction. Be it regarding employment prospects, co-curricular activities, class participation or human relationships, they feel like they are missing out.

3. Acceptance

After a couple of miserable months spent in pretense, people realize that at the end of the day, it’s important to remember that different people flourish in different environments. A textbook introvert may feel more comfortable in an intimate setting or in one on one interaction. They add value to any piece of work because of their scrupulous nature and creativity. In friendships, feeling the tranquil pleasure of being near a gathering but not quite in it like resting your head in the backseat of a car listening to your friends chatting up front, bonding with a friend at a party while everyone dances inside. The feeling is blissfully invisible yet still fully included feels pretty great.
Feature Image Credits: Tee Public 

 

Nikita Bhatia

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When we start college, the thought of spending three years with the same set of people doesn’t hit us at once. But, inevitably, these people become an extension of who we are.

College hands us innumerable lectures, assignments, exams and anxiety the moment we become part of the higher-education group. So much so, that in keeping up with the day’s activities, we begin to lose sight of what is important in life- association. But one highly underrated gift that college gives us would be friends, joining us in this happy-sad-journey.

It is often joked about that the people we sit with on the first day of college tend to become our best friends. Funny as it may seem, it does contain a certain amount of truth in it, if not completely veritable. This might be the reason why, despite cliched cliques, every person in a group of friends has their own unique personality, and is allowed to maintain that. Here, we learn an enormously important life skill, which is tolerance.

“In college, we meet people from diverse backgrounds, having different opinions,” says Alfisha Sabri, a first-year English honours student of Maitreyi College. “Being mature and respecting the views of others, whilst sticking to our own beliefs, is what makes strong friendship bonds that pass the test of time.” What happens here is that we, unknowingly, prepare ourselves for the wider spectrum of people we will have to interact with as we proceed further on in life. Mutual respect is something that can never be compromised on.

In friendship, there is an unsaid rule of agreeing to disagree. Even though we may not accept our friends’ point of view, doesn’t make them (or you) a bad person; rather, they are individual choices which everyone makes.

If it is friends that we want, we have to ensure that we are a friend to them in the first place. From sharing notes to being there in times of crisis, we must play our part in the friendship because only then can we expect something in return. This is similar to being a safe space for our friends, in an environment that may get extremely inhospitable at times. We should be that somebody they can rely on, so when we need a hand or a heart, they will be sitting next to us.

College is a time when we hardly have free time on our hands. There is always so much to get done in what seems like forever-diminishing-time and everyone is pushing themselves to a point of mental and physical exhaustion. As friends, we must ensure that we do spend time outside of the classrooms as well, and not let go of the tradition of ‘hanging out’. Contrary to this, we must be understanding and appreciative of our friends’ efforts to do their very best and not mope over the lack of ceremonious gatherings because they, too, run on a very tight schedule.

Having said all of this, I do believe that laughter, harmless witticisms and getting into moderate trouble seal the bond of friendship, and it is these mildly scandalous incidents that serve as amazing anecdotes years down the line!

 

Feature Image credits: Sneha Garg

Maumil Meharj

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You’re on a tight budget. But that shouldn’t stop you from enjoying life, should it? So, we here, have got your back. No, we don’t loan money, but yes, we can get you a list of places to visit when running on a tight budget.

 

Connaught Place, New Delhi

Want to get a glimpse of the cosmopolitan culture that the Capital has to offer? Then this should be a definite item on your bucket list. It offers everything, from shops with loaded showcases to sunglasses that cost less than a dollar. An added attraction is ‘Gupta Ji ka Fire Pan’ if you want to experience fire burning in your mouth. Lying in the center of the city, this place is easily accessible and is generally crowded.

Image Credits: NDTV
Image Credits: NDTV

National Zoological Park

Planning a day-long outing with your gang of friends? Then this probably is the most interesting place you can visit. Placed at a pebble’s throw from the Purana Quila, this place offers you prepossessing sights at very nominal rates.

Image Credits: Delhipedia
Image Credits: Delhipedia

Majnu ka Tila

If all that you need is a nice café, a glimpse of the Capital’s night life, some excellent momos and an insight into a Tibetan Settlement, this is exactly the place you need to visit.

Image Credits: D for Delhi
Image Credits: D for Delhi

Chandni Chowk

An Epicure? Wanting to satiate your lust for food with some authentic cuisines of Delhi?  Then put a tick against Chandni Chowk. Here, not only do you get a glimpse of what Delhi is like in reality, but also, you can rapture your senses with the delectable cuisine the place has to offer. An added advantage is the fact that you can always pay a visit to the iconic Red Fort. However, you must brace yourself for the crowd you are going to find, irrespective of the time or day in which you’re visiting.

Image Credits: Time
Image Credits: Time

Qutb Minar

Just in case you’ve fallen short of photos to upload on your social media handles, pay a visit to this place. A ‘selfie’ next to the iconic minaret will get you a hundred likes in a jiffy. More importantly, you’d be able to strike off a huge item from your ‘Things to do in Delhi’ list.

Image Credits: NDTV
Image Credits: NDTV

Nizamuddin Dargah

If Qawwali is your jam, you might want to pay a visit to this place. The enclosure that gave birth to some exemplary Qawwalis like Kun Faya Kun and is home to the ‘Nizami Brothers’, this place has everything you need if serenity and sanctity is what you’re looking for.

Image Credits: DU Beat
Image Credits: DU Beat

India Gate

If all you have is a metro smart card and a hundred rupees in cash in total, this is the place you should choose to visit without a doubt. Located at a stroll’s distance from the Central Secretariat Metro Station, this place is of ‘monumental’ significance. An ice-cream bar at this place is among the few ‘cheap thrills’ you would want to indulge in.

Image Credits: Cultural India
Image Credits: Cultural India

Agrasen ki Baoli

Remember the last scene from the fame-fetching Bollywood movie ‘Padmavat’? Care to visit a similar, but a non-identical place? Agrasen ki Baoli is one place which is bound to encapsulate you in a silent stupor when you witness its magnificence.

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 Image credits: LBB

Feature Image Credits: D for Delhi

Aashish Jain

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