Sex Amma

Sex Amma

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“Dear Ammachi,
Ente ammachi enikku ee prayam aya sthreekalodu valiya ishttamanu. kazhiyunna reethiyil avare sahayikkum.
Valla kuzhappavum undo ? avarude sareera soudariyam enne kamolsukanakkum. Thettundo?
I am waiting for ur reply.
Thanks & Regards,”

TRANSLATION:

“Dear Amma, I am very much attracted to mature (older) women, to the extent that I cannot control it, but still somehow do. Is there a problem? Their beautiful bodies attract me sexually. Is it wrong?”

Well well well… so this cunning little mongoose from Malabar wanted to check if Amma was actually MALAYALI!!!! He doubted the fact that I’d come all the way from the backwaters of Kerala to help the confused little macchis in this ocean you call DU! And so, he sends me a mail typed in Malayalam using English as his script, as you all can see. But Amma shan’t deprive other souls who are baffled due to similar issues of the answer, so Amma translated the query word to word.

Assuming your query is as genuine as the ivory Veerappan sold, I have taken the trouble of translating it to the language of our Lords; here is to you, you cocky little rooster from Ramamangalam village!

To the mind of a young man, a mature woman has several alluring qualities. The first being that the very thought of being sexually associated with one is a taboo, and hence the rush! The fact that an older woman is like the forbidden fruit or the coconut tree too wide to hug/ climb, sparks special attraction. One can also speculate that you my dear do not have much experience with women your age, and may feel comfortable around older ones.

The fact still remains; it is not a problem as much as it is a taboo, something that society won’t sanction. There might be a few unresolved Oedipal issues behind your desires though. You might want to open up, with someone about them MENTALLY that is!

Fundamentally, human beings seek pleasure: if you’ve seen “The Graduate”, you’ll know that older women dating younger men tends to be a short-term experience. It’s fun while it lasts, but most likely, ephemeral. So don’t be lured by an over ripe forbidden fruit, wait for the spring of your life dear!

And next time Amma does not want any of you Macchis to doubt her authenticity! Amma recently shifted to Delhi to guide your confused little macchis, don’t believe me, then go to Kerala and ask them. They are probably missing Amma’s charms and her steamy hot appams and crisp vadas, yes you know what I mean. Just so that you know the moon is not the only thing that causes Kerala’s seas to rise, put that blame on this mame boys!

Anyhow, anyone and everyone is welcome in Amma’s forum, even sceptics, hope to hear more from all you macchis, till then, stay out of trouble!

 

You could also mail Amma your queries to [email protected].

Journalism has been called the “first rough draft of history”. D.U.B may be termed as the first rough draft of DU history. Freedom to Express.

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