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Dear Amma,

My boyfriend tells me to shave down there because he does not like the ‘mess’ but I, on the other hand, hate shaving because it is uncomfortable and painful. How do I tell him this?

Dear chutney,

I sympathize with the problems you are facing with your partner, but the best way to deal with this is to communicate with him about the downsides of shaving your pubic hair. It is extremely irritable and leaves you exposed to different types of bacteria. Those tiny, red bumps eliminate the fun out of the action. You must enlighten him about the fact that the hair down below is like leaves surrounding a flower, or a lawn surrounding the house. 

My little jalebi, your Amma in her days also came across such men. They always asked me to shave, however, I am my own boss and I never listened to them. My dear dosa, you must not change yourself for others, and if he continues to have a problem with your hair, then you clearly deserve a better boy. 

Pubic hair, my idli, must only be removed when you feel comfortable doing so, and not because some boy asked you to keep yourself ‘clean’. His remark may be suggestive of the fact that he would not be comfortable engaging with you sexually unless the pubic hair is not removed. This remark in itself is indicative of his misogynistic views in one way or another, and my little macchi, you must confront him about the same. 

So you see, my little chutney, nobody gets to tell you what to do with your body. You must always remember that the person you are with must love all of you and not just the parts they find sexually appealing. Amma, from her past experiences, can recall that shaving off pubic hair is not necessary for you and it is a personal choice. My dear macchi, you must follow Amma’s advice and confront that boy and do not forget to have fun. 

(For more sex related queries, write to [email protected])

Sex Amma

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