pre-final year student


Dear Diary,

Since you are one of my loyal friends, today I’m going to trouble you for a little while longer than usual.

The last few days in particular have been a little uneasy for me. Amidst a million tasks of getting the clearance form signed by the authorities, standing in queues for the admit card which is essentially going to carry an embarrassing picture of mine on the top right corner, coping with the mammoth syllabus for examinations, dealing with starvation at night in the hostel, I have experienced something significant bothering me.

I have been facing a fear for the past few days—the fear of being left behind; the fear of losing out on a thousand beautiful connections that I’ve made in these three years of college. I believe, I have already told you how mine is one of the two four-year undergraduate programmes in my college. I will be completing my third year of college in this month, which means that all the third-year people from other courses will be graduating. I can’t believe this time has come so early.

While I sit and watch my friends getting all worked up about their life after college and being stuck between ambivalent choices and getting all restive about what the coming years have in store for them, I am just afraid of letting them go. Mama always told me that people will come and go, the best we can do is make the most of the time we spend with them. I am happy with myself for doing that. Everyone says they’ll stay in touch, but I wonder. I wonder how little time they will get while they’re busy solving real-world problems. That brings me to wonder about the plenty of time I’ll have to deal with such less number of familiar faces around.

I’ve have been thinking about the things I’ll say to them. But being the inexpressive person that I am, I doubt I’ll ever be able to do that so I’ll pour them all right in front of you. I want to tell them to relax, move a bit slowly. In a world which is nothing more than a ground for rat-races, I want to advise them to live and not survive. I want to tell them to make that one trip which was always planned in college, but was never taken seriously (take me along, maybe). I have spoken to a lot of friends and I know that these three years in college might not have made them realise what they want to do, but have surely made them aware of what they don’t. I hope they do not fall into the false and tempting traps of ‘social laws’ and explore until they find their calling. I desire to tell them how I believe that they’ll surely play their part in making this world a beautiful place. Lastly, I want to wish them luck and thank them for filling these three wonderful years of my life.




Shaurya Sahai

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