“It’s not their fault.” How about, “It’s not a fault?”
“Hate is loud, but I think you’ll learn it’s because it’s only a few people shouting, desperate to be heard. You might not ever be able to change their minds, but so long as you remember you’re not alone, you will overcome.”
-T.J. Klune, The House in the Cerulean Sea
Even the most benevolent of people, more often than not, slip up and refer to any sexual orientation other than strictly heterosexual as a flaw. In recent times, we have witnessed staunchly religious institutions introduce leniency and open mindedness in the form of ‘Hate the sin, not the sinner’ ideology and while it might appear to be a new and improved outlook, it is the exact opposite. Just like stereotypes about masculinity, femininity, strength, etc. are bad, this line of thinking is just as harmful. Treating queerness as an issue that cannot be resolved perpetuates the idea that it is a problem, a defect. Even if people don’t fall anywhere on the spectrum of the ‘normal’ mandates that seem to have all of us in a chokehold, that doesn’t mean necessarily make them abnormal.
The thought that these things need to and can ‘fixed’, that it’s just a bout of teenage rebellion for someone scared of tattoos a temporary phase that shall pass, this is what drives places as terribly cruel as conversion camps. It’s a person’s identity and it should not be up for debate. ‘It’s their own fault’ is what turned AIDS into as big a crisis as it was. Helpless people were not only left to die, they were also blamed for it
People also go on to define homosexuality as symptomatic of neuro-divergence and it’s time that these people are stopped. Because, while in their own self-righteous consciousness, they are saving and restoring the delicate fabric of society, what they are actually doing is making life more difficult for disabled queer people by intensifying the dual stigma they have to face on a regular basis.
Notions like these aren’t always expressed with an intent to insult or harm. Sometimes, they force their way into speech as time old habit, listened and learned. But a conscious choice to stop them, toss them out and reject them is vital. The radicalized population inhabiting twitter and Instagram might make it seem like the tide of change has done its job but the reality of people wrapping themselves up in their flags at a pride parade while their half hidden with masks is evidence enough that we need to evolve.
“Sometimes our prejudices colour our thoughts when we least expect them to. If we can recognise that, and learn from it, we can become better people.”
-T.J. Klune, The House in the Cerulean Sea
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