Bazinga: DU declares LSR and St. Stephen’s cafes to be renamed as ‘canteens’

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Disclaimer: Bazinga is DU Beat’s weekly column of almost believable fake news!

Seems like the Delhi University administration has now become accustomed to land in hot waters with their actions, reactions and declarations. In sharp retaliation to the protesting students at Lady Shri Ram College in the wake of a steep rise in food prices, the DU high command yesterday issued a notice to the college authorities.

The notice was in regard to call their cafeteria a canteen like the rest of the university does and not a café.  A similar notice was also issued to St. Stephen’s College, it being the only other Delhi University college with a ‘café’.

While the rise in prices is believed to be an effect of rising gas prices as well as a general inflation in the economy, the notice clearly points at a solution with an ‘as you sow, so you reap’ undertone. “If you want the rates of a college canteen, call it a canteen. Cafes are fancy places, and fancy rates are what you will get”, says Mr. Aaya Ram Gaya Ram, an official from the university.

The students are left with a devil and the deep blue sea situation. While changing their mosaic-walled and cane-chaired cafes to mere canteens would leave them bereft of any and all history of exclusivity, not doing so will leave them bereft of economical meals.

The colleges have been given a short notice of two days to respond to the notice and to do so in the affirmative failing which the University has threatened to withdraw their ‘canteen’ licenses. This move is seen as attempt by to bring about a level of uniformity among the various colleges.

Sources have confirmed that next on the list is to change ‘Hall of Residence’ to the more humble hostel. Great going, DU!

Disclaimer: Bazinga is DU Beat’s weekly column of almost believable fake news!

Journalism has been called the “first rough draft of history”. D.U.B may be termed as the first rough draft of DU history. Freedom to Express.

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