Q: What should I tell you about my problem? I have a sweet girl in my class but haven’t had any girlfriend till now. It’s really scary for me to talk to women. I know I’m living in a time where all this sounds absurd, but I need a solution, desperately.
Ans: Kids kids! Yes you’re living in a world where all this DOES sound a little outdated, but you must remember that there are many travelling a boat similar to yours. I remember answering this question, just worded differently, a lot of times. So I’d just repeat my advice, for the hundredth time. YOU NEED TO BE CONFIDENT. You need to feel good about yourself. You need to know that you are one of a kind. Have faith in yourself boy. I know it sounds very preachy but it’s exactly what you need to do. Wake up one morning and think about how magnificently you’ve lived eighteen years of your life and you’ll sense a change. The girl you’re lurking at may or may not have the same apprehensions as you. She might have also been through this phase that you’re in right now. Wait, let me just cut the long story short for you. It doesn’t take a lot to place yourself on a high pedestal. In fact, it doesn’t take anything except a lot of self confidence. That will definitely carve the way to “stud-dom”. So what you’re waiting for? If you’re waiting for Barney to tell you to “suit up!” then I’ll do that for you. *enters dreamland* Ted is such an adorable child. *snaps out* Good day child.
Q: I have had a relationship with a guy for more than a year, and although it was a long distance relationship we could manage it quite well. Both of us were quite happy. But problems arose when we met. He being a guy expects a lot from me, you know. But I just don’t know why when it comes to love making or getting closer to him, I become very scared or skeptical and just don’t allow anything to happen. And this at times irritated him, which led to some forceful actions from his side. Can u help me with this? It’s not that I don’t trust him. It’s just that I dont feel comforatble with all this.
Please give me some answer!
Ans: You girl are doing absolutely well in the relationship. Now look, I have always firmly believed that a close physical contact with a person, for someone your age, is a huge deal. If you’re sane and not stoned or drunk, you will very obviously think and analyze the consequence of an action as big as this. Your partner might expect a lot from you, but you have the right to get close to him at your own convenience. It’ll in fact be extremely worthless if you do it without emotion. If you’re scared and skeptical, it’s best to maintain distance till you’re led into comfort. Don’t put the blame on him completely because he might be rightly expecting the initiation of a physical relationship keeping in mind the duration of your relationship. But doing anything leading to discomfort is pointless. You can try and prepare yourself by sorting out your priorities. But do think before you act child. It’s old advice, but all the better for it!