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Sex Amma

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Q. Amma I’m a 18 years old boy….. And I have too many problem. Like whenever I say any girl around me I feel like to do sex…. And all the time I think of sex. I want to get rid of this thing…

What will I do plzzzzzzzz help me……

 

A.  Aiyooo. Amma is completely exhausted after reading this question. It took Amma about half an hour to understand what this poor child had written and then to recover from this shocking usage of English. Clearly, English is one of your major problems.

After having finally figured out what you were trying to say, Amma has only one thing to say to you- Get a girl. Not forcefully, please. And preferably deaf, for only a few strong hearted souls in this world can take your roguish charm. And may Amma suggest that you never write her a love letter- it’s for your own good.

Now, there is no way you can get rid of sexual excitement. It’s a natural process. If, by a miracle, you are unable to find a girl, rely on your trusted right hand. It could not be put to a better use in your case. And, until then, wait for your parents to find you a nice, docile young girl who’d keep your urges under control.

 

Q. Hi amma, I’m a 27 year old guy. I’m sexually attracted towards my mom from the past 13 years. i want to have sex with her. how do i seduce her and make her agree to have sex with me? please reply.

A. And then again, there’s always a rotten idli who didn’t get the batter quite right. My little oedipus, there is no strategy in Amma’s  not-so-stringent moral code that allows you a romp with the mom. Incest sure sounds kinky, but let’s keep it to the movies. Let me guarantee you this, your mother does not feel that way about you, and probably never will. So suck in those desires and please spare your Amma. My advice would be to find a shrink as soon as you can. Trust me, after a few sessions of catharsis and psychoanalysis, you will emerge a brand new idli, probably shaped the right way this time.

 

You could mail Amma your queries at [email protected] 

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Juxtapose

Are Reservations in College Justified?

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Graphic Credits :- Sahil Jain

Every passing year, securing admission in good colleges is getting tougher and tougher. Not for everyone though. If you happen to belong to any of the numerous communities deemed to be underprivileged (SC, OBC etc), all the skill that you’ll require is that of correctly filing a form.

The reservation system has received fervent criticism from all corners but can a country which has historically discriminated against certain minority groups afford not to provide them with opportunities for bettering their status? Or is it that reservations are the wrong way to go about uplifting minorities.

This week, Juxtapose sets the jury out on whether the reservation system is good for the country as a whole. So what are you waiting for? Scroll down and voice your opinions.

Juxtapose: Are reservations in colleges justified?
Show of Hands:
Justified: 2
Not Justified: 8
The Arguments:

1. Thangchungnung Mangte, Not Justified
I do have a great respect for the founding fathers of our constitution and their empathy towards the underprivileged sections of our society who were discriminated and exploited for hundreds of years. However, if we want to help those people to be able to grow and improve their condition, the very basis of granting reservation should be on the basis of a person’s economic condition. Giving reservation to a caste, tribe etc. will only help those, who are already doing well. A poor dalit or a tribal hardly gets to use the benefit of reservation granted to his/her tribe or caste and instead it is used more by the sons & daughters of, let’s say for example, an IAS officer.

2. Vikas Jaipuria, Not Justified
The ideal situation should have been: Merit alone triumphs! Having sat on a hunger strike when I was in class 8 in AIIMS when this debate broke out in 2006, I have seen the agitation from close quarters. This is a paralytic policy decision, which is far from the principles of equality espoused by our constitution. Sure the weaker sections and minority should be uplifted, but providing reservation in higher education is not the correct means. The government should have created better infrastructure in primary/higher secondary schools in small towns/backward areas. It should have extended the benefit of its social schemes by bringing more OBC’s/SC’S/ST’s under its net. The true effects of this paralytic decision is more evident in DU – OBC’s/SC’s/ST’s from well of families are sitting in top colleges with less than qualifying marks, while hard working students of General category who slogged their ass in class XII are precluded admission (even if they fall short of cutoff by a small whisker!). And we all know in a country like ours where bribing public officials is a cakewalk, no wonder you can get yourself made a fake SC/ST/OBC certificate.

3. Ankita Mukhopadhyay (LSR), Justified
When Dr. B.R Ambedkar formulated the Constitution, little did he foresee the uproar that his policy of reservation for minorities would create once education and literacy became a prime concern for most households in India. I think reservation for minorities is justified, provided there is an income bracket to justify their need for reservation. Reservation has come into the limelight today because of the UPA government’s policy to give preference to the minorities in order to garner more votes. The issue of reservation shouldn’t be a politically contentious issue; it should be more of a moral issue.
People belonging to the Scheduled castes and tribes are still discriminated against today in the villages, and even if a person belonging to the SC/ST or OBC category manages to break the mould and succeed in the corporate segment or any other sector, he/she is always looked down upon by the general candidates as an academically weaker peer. I agree that there are many general category candidates out there who lose out on a seat because of reservation, and economically backward general candidates face a bleak future due to no government support for them, but we should also look into the historical origins of this caste problem. The government should change its policy, and instead of demarcating lower cut offs or marks for SC/ST and OBC candidates, they should evaluate them on an equal level, barring only the fact that they have a quota for themselves. One should look for a solution to the problem, not ponder over it needlessly. We should learn from our forefathers and not continue repeating the mistakes that they committed hundreds of years back.

4. Riddhi Dayal (Sri Venkatswara College), Justified
I think reservation was a justifiable means to be used in the scenario of the caste-system in India, and many people have actually benefited from the same. Therefore, to completely write-off reservation is unjustified. Many students had a problem with the fact that General Category seats would be reduced in number due to reservation, however, that was taken care of by the court order that stated that the total number of seats would be increased to incorporate reserved seats while keeping General category seats constant. Thus, I don’t think its really a big deal.
However, I’d like to clarify that I don’t believe reservation should be continued indefinitely. As with all policies, it should be in practice till one reaches the stage of emancipation of the downtrodden and then be discontinued.
The Verdict: Reservations are neither justified nor beneficial.

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DUB Speak

The Culpability of Turbans and Beards

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The deplorable episode of cold-blooded slaying of six innocent Sikhs by a white supremacist skinhead Wade Michael Page in a gurudwara in Wisconsin can’t be dismissed as a sheer paradigm of hate crime incident. Apparently, the fact that it has broached more than a few imperative questions is difficult to neglect.

While the precise motivations of this outlandish act are yet to be indentified, the reports that the killer had been a leader of a xenophobic white-power group connote it wasn’t just a random attack but one that was accurately deliberated to single out a community for its dissimilarity or rather for its misconceived proximity, in terms of corporeal peculiarity, to Islamist fundamentalists.

Unfortunately, Sikhs – one of the initial Asian communities in North America – have confronted such vandalism and dogmatism ever since 9/11 when racial bigots began to see in them a semblance to Osama Bin Laden, predominantly because of their turban and beard. In this context, no one is oblivious to the infamous case of Balbir Singh Sodhi – a gas station owner in Mesa, Arizona – who was shot dead four days after the towers crumbled, allegedly by a man who sought retaliation.

However, this is not the sole example of Sikh community being under attack in the disguise of ‘patriotism’. In a report last year, the Southern Poverty Law Center – a nonprofit civil rights organization committed to combating hate and bigotry- reported quite a few assaults and incidents of arson at Sikh temples after September 11.

This sort of killing rampage is undeniably a catastrophe, and it is so not only for six people who lost their lives or their aggrieved families or for that matter the Sikh community but also for United States as a nation which is often reckoned an impeccable specimen of juxtaposed cultures and religions – a product of large-scale immigration from various countries. It poses a question on the credibility of the country in protecting people of all races, as promised in its Constitution.

Although it might sound mordant but one of the concrete reasons for such crisis finds its roots in the laws that confer upon civilians a right to carry guns without any complications. Paradoxically, a law was passed in Wisconsin last year that gave liberty to the inhabitants to purchase a handgun or firearm with much ease. The 9 mm semi-automatic handgun found at the sight of the incident is just a metaphor of how prolific are the implications of this law. Even the rationale that probable victims need guns for their fortification sounds nothing more than ridiculous.

We can keep deriving the political insinuations of the occurrence but what needs vital attention is that the Sikh community has for a long, long time quietly endured the pain of wounds they never inflicted and it’s high time that both the United States government as well the Indian government take measures to ensure that no discrimination of any sort is met out to this community anymore.

 

Vatsal Verma
[email protected]

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Campus Central

Youth Conference 2012 at SRCC

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On Saturday, 11th August 2012, the students of Sri Ram College Of Commerce organised ‘The Youth Conference’ at Sir Shankar Lal concert hall, North Campus. The theme of the conference was ‘Here is Where our Story Begins’ and well known personalities like Suhel Seth- managing partner of counselage India, Alvinder Dhindsa- CEO of Zomato, Bimal Jalan- former governor of RBI,  Ajay Chaturvedi- founder and chairman of HarVa, Utsav Mitra- ex president of student council of SRCC and Gaurav Kapoor- VJ, Actor and sports presenter; all spoke on the theme interpreting it in their own way. All the speeches made were convincing and well received. Mr.Suhel Seth advised the students to be ‘brutally honest since a lie is time consuming’. His unconventional way of focusing on conventional values like honesty, respectfulness and patriotism won the loudest round of applause. Gaurav talked about his 3 A’s- ambition, audacity and action and appealed the audience to take risk- ‘udan bharne ke liye chhalang lagana zaruri hai’. Bimal Jalan urged students to pursue a career because of interest and not for money. The organising members, with Pratik handa as the convener and Bikash Agarwal as the conference secretery did quite a good job in making the event a successful one. A good number of delegates turned up and were given a certificate of participation as well. The event which continued for about 6 to 7 hours was sponsored by Nestle, Nescafe, Amtek group, PETA India, Red FM 93.5, Hourglass Project etc. Some lines like ‘ravel in the arts- smell flowers, go for a long walk and smile, smile and smile even more!’, ‘being patriotic is not important, being a nationalist is’, ‘don’t be afraid of failure, yes it sucks, but don’t be afraid of it’, ‘there is nothing more derogatory and it’s a bloody farce  that we worship all these goddesses when we abuse our women’, ‘in future, farmers, not bankers, will drive Ferraris’- made the event an unforgettable one for students. Aishwarya Chaurasia [email protected] ]]>

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Spo(r)tlight

Federer v/s Murray at Olympics

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A Wimbledon smitten Andy Murray thwarted Roger Federer’s hopes of winning an Olympic Gold last week. Federer who was on a roll after his Wimbledon victory over Murray was handed a straight set defeat by the Scot.

As the duo met again at Centre Court nobody could have foreseen a 6-2, 6-1, 6-4 defeat for the Swiss giant. Murray also crushed Federer’s hopes of completing a Golden Slam- the title of holding all four major Grand Slam titles and an Olympic Gold Medal.

Murray did exhibit top form right from the beginning of the game as Federer could not shake off those early nerves. It was interesting to watch both players trying to dominate the game by means of their superior service games; however Murray displayed a great amount of control in his shots. Early on Federer was successful in averting a break point but did concede one in the middle of a superb rally in the first set and it was all downhill from there.

The second set saw Murray dominate his way through. The third game of this set was especially notable as Federer tried to raise his head and make a comeback but his efforts were foiled by Murray and his impeccable placement and coverage of court. Moreover Federer also failed to convert several break point opportunities, something which cost him the set. Murray glided through the rest of the set although Federer’s control of his emotions was notable- something he is known for.

The way the third set unfolded made everyone think that the game was not beyond recovery for Federer. However Murray kept the pressure on and broke the Federer serve to give himself a 3-2 lead over the Swiss. This game was consolidated as Murray went on to turn his score to 4- 2 in the next game. But just when he thought he had it in the bag Federer held on to his serve in a nerve wrecking game that followed. We saw glimpses of the Federer genius returning to court here. Still pumped with the home crowd support Murray held onto his serve in the next game and dictated terms to Federer right from the baseline. Federer did exceptionally well as he served to stay in the match and held Murray to 5- 4 in this game. The crowd roared as Murray stepped in to serve for the match- for the Olympic Gold and he sure clinched the Gold with tremendous ease, unleashing three aces as he sent waves of jubilation through the hearts of his supporters and family. It must have been a long walk from the baseline to the net and back to the dressing room for Federer. While we could see Murray make his way up to the player’s box to share his elation with his support team- coaches, friends and especially his proud mother who could not control her tears.

Murray punching the air, a proud mother, Federer walking back- well acknowledged by the crowd and a very supportive and ecstatic audience- these were the final scenes as the Olympic Gold Title match in Men’s Singles came to a close.

All in all, the entire showdown left the tennis world in awe. The surprising fact was that many a times, Federer was given a taste of his own medicine by Murray in the form of unexpected forehands and craftily placed backhands, where Federer could not even move a muscle towards the ball. It is safe to say that Murray has come a long way from the Wimbledon defeat and even though Federer still holds the world number 1 crown this has to be a watershed match in his career.

Keeping the Wimbledon title match and the Olympic Finals in mind, we would love to see these two titans clash again in the future and show us what gentlemen’s tennis is all about.

 

Anugrah Gopinath
[email protected]

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Events

Literathon 2012 – By INDIAreads

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Literathon is a cross country event being launched by INDIAreads Online Library and Bookstore to promote the habit of reading among students through greater engagement with books and authors. It has been conceptualized to make not just books, but even their writers more accessible. The idea is to provide students with an opportunity to listen to their favourite authors, quiz them about their best-selling titles, discuss strategies, ideas and debate upon current issues. Every Literathon will consist of a series of events ranging from talks, creative writing workshops and interactive sessions to book launches, book reading sessions and book bazaars. There will be a host of online and on the spot competitions to enable students to interact with fellow book lovers and to discuss and debate upon their favourite and not so favourite works.

The Inaugural event of the Literathon, co-hosted with the Delhi School of Economics, will be held at the Conference Hall, Delhi University on July 28, 2012. Best-selling author Rashmi Bansal (of the Stay Hungry Stay Foolish fame) will share the secrets of entrepreneurship along with international management consultant Deepak Gandhi. Padma awardee and Planning Commission member Syeda Hameed will join her co-author Gunjan Veda for an interactive session on Youth as agents of Change. The two will also read from their new book, Beautiful Country: Stories from Another India which was recently released by Dr. Montek Singh Ahluwalia.

The highlight of the event is the launch of Bansal’s new book Poor Little Rich Slum, which she has co-authored with Deepak Gandhi. All the four authors will be available for signing books after their talks.

The event will also see an all-day Book Bazaar with exclusive discounts and various on-the-spot competitions like Tag-It (find a tag line) and a photo contest called Pic-a-Caption as a run up to the event and will soon be followed by other competitions including a quiz.

 

You could follow this link for more details, http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/Literathon

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Juxtapose

Joker V/S Bane

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Joker V/S Bane

Graphic Credits :- Sahil Jain

One has a smile chiseled on his face while the other has a ghastly mask covering most of his. One believes in chaos while the other craves extreme order. One enjoys weaving stories about his origins while the other was born in hell on Earth, no kidding. One challenged the philosophy of the Dark Knight while the other physically dissected him.

But who infests your darkest dreams? Who sends shivers down your spine? Who would you as the caped crusader least want to face up to? On the left corner we have Joker, unpredictable, manipulative and absolutely crazy. On your right stands Bane bullish, powerful, and uncompromising to a fault.

Who is the best adversary for the Batman?
Scroll down and leave your arguments in the comments box.

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DUB Speak

Guwahati Molestation: The Role of a Journalist

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The role of a journalist is to gather and report news. At certain times, such as the case with the recent Guwahati molestation, a reporter can be torn between his job as a broadcaster of news and his calling as a human being.

Without passing judgment on why the reporter chose to film the incident, let us think of the various situations that were presented to this journalist.

Watching a scene as horrifying as that unfold and taking no step to control the situation is akin to being a perpetrator of the crime itself. Here was a person, who stood there and watched the incident while condemning it (hopefully!) in his mind. This was a supposedly educated mob (logically linking from the fact that all were exiting from an expensive bar) who perpetrated the crime when a sole voice of reason could have stopped them.

Moving on from those who committed the crime, let us now focus on the victim. She is perhaps still caught in a state of trauma, having lost complete faith in humanity. Perhaps she wouldn’t have felt so, if someone or anyone had tried to help her. Perhaps that could once again establish her faith in life.

On the other hand, our society encourages and needs journalists who are ‘inhumane’, who choose to stand back and watch and in some cases – and record. In a nation like ours, we document more than 1 rape a day in the capital. It is so common now that it does not even warrant a mention in the front page of most leading dailies. Yet, India needs the shock-treatment in the form of a video to start a movement. There are rapes and molestations that cry themselves hoarse in search of justice and yet this girl in Guwahati, gets all the limelight. The reason being, her molestation was taped. What would have happened if the tape didn’t exist? Oh well, she would end up being just another victim of our inefficient justice system. Most of the mob would never be identified or dragged to court. So has the journalist done the girl a service here? Has he managed to ensure that the girl gets justice? Will this give her closure? A sense of peace?

Likewise, it’s believed that a journalist’s job is to be impartial and fair, which subsequently means that the journalist is to not engage in the brawl himself! And such behaviour has been rewarded too– Yazushi Nagaha won the 1961 Pulitzer Prize for the photograph of an assassination, where this journalist had to move 5 feet to adjust his lens-focus, valuable time in which he easily could have intercepted the murderer.

 

Arnav Das
[email protected]

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Arts Faculty

Top Hangout Spots in North Campus

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So you have made it to one of the colleges in North Campus and now you’re wondering what is beyond the big names and the college crowds in the place. You, dear fresher, don’t really have to worry about it at all. As awesome the crowds and colleges would be, you’ll just fall in love with North Campus and its little places. Here are some of the places you just *have* to check out this semester Kamla Nagar: Kamla Nagar is almost synonymous with the student crowds that throng it regardless they attend college or not. From McDonald’s to KFC’s to CCD’s to momo shops…you find it all! (Not a Pizza Hut though, unfortunately) Check out the latest trends in the Levi’s to Tommy Hilfiger’s in Kamla Nagar or just the cool street-side shopping experience. If you are a bookworm, you can easily sneak in an hour or two in the bookshops which have some good literary titles. If you are a party animal, check out ‘Wildfire’. Or maybe you are someone who loves to enjoy solitude. Well, then you can always sit in the chairs they put up near Barista Lavazza while the noise makers go to Malkaganj. ‘The Ridge’: Now if you don’t know what ‘The Ridge’ is, you will know soon enough. It is quiet, very green and clean too. Far from the crowds, here you can watch some playful monkeys, and cool off after the classes are over. Chances are you will end up watching animals while you jog! Arts Fac: Though it is generally a place where people go for their official work plus postgrad classes, the Arts Faculty, or popularly Arts Fac, is one of the most under-rated spots to hang out in the North Campus. Sit in the lawns, read, eat, watch people argue and then you can always take a walk around the campus that just inspires a calming effect on you. Also, you can have some Mishti Doi from the Mother Dairy stall just outside. D-School: Delhi School of Economics, fondly known as D-School is one of the best places to read, have cheap good food and listen to some old pensioners discuss the political affairs of the nation (loudly) in the evening. The J.P. Tea Stall is another feature in the D-School campus where most people can be found when they have nowhere to go. The Metro Station: Let’s face it north campus is cool because it has its own metro station. That, again, is nothing less than a hangout spot for students. You can find food, crowd, trees and a place to sit and talk with friends. Apart from these places, notable omissions from this list are Uncle Tom’s Maggie and the different college canteens because you will find Maggie everywhere in the campus. With this list of hangout places, this semester will certainly be a breeze for you; they just get cooler with time!   Priyam Goswami [email protected]]]>

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