Romanticising Short Term Romance and Friendships

For many, university symbolizes  freedom – from orthodox households  and toxic friendships at school. With  a fresh slate in college, you do not  expect to find your best friend or a life  partner on the first day. Gradually, as  you get familiar with college (and the  college gets familiar with you), you  may find a small group of like-minded people. But if you did find this group,  then this article is not for you, because  it caters to those who didn’t.*

Sometime back, I was watching  David Letterman’s show where Shah  Rukh Khan was a guest and he talked  vividly about his college romance  with Gauri Khan. He explained how they met and sustained their off campus-north campus romance post college. Similarly, the sitcom College  Romance explores the titbits of love  in college including the fallouts, the  fights, the breakups, and the make-ups.  Anyone who has been to university  knows that college spaces are famous  for their lovers’ spots and evergreen friendships that blossom in these red  brick-and-mortar structures. 

While Rang De Basanti and College  Romance will tell you otherwise, you  may not find your best friend or a  significant other at university, and  that’s okay. So, why are we talking  about this? 

In our world, longevity defines success.  A longer job means you are more  likely to be a stable employee, a longer  relationship means you may not fear  commitment, and a longer friendship  means you may be emotionally more  mature. 

In this article, I explore the  significance of short-term friendships  and romance at college. College  exposes you to a variety of people, and  forming long-lasting friendships with  each of them is impossible. We may  not continue some friendships post college and if we are self-aware, we  know which ones those are. However,  these relationships can really help in  making the new city you shifted in or  the college you are attending a lot less  foreign. Often, you also rely on these  friendships to break out of your echo chambers. You may not agree with  them politically, or your values could  be mismatched, but an occasional  dialogue or debate could broaden your  perspective on an issue. 

You may have just spoken to the person  during your time at Debate Society or  in passing when you bunked in the  lawns, but all those conversations  are extremely imperative because  they let you evolve as human beings.  While it may be true that you cannot  rely on temporary acquaintances  for emotional support, there is a lot  of learning that comes out of these  relationships. 

A few years ago on Valentine’s Day, I  had interviewed “successful couples”  that emerged from Delhi University  across generations for DU Beat. These  couples, no doubt, had heart-warming  stories about meeting over a Rs. 2  coffee at the Indian Coffee House and  proposing on the Northern Ridge at  North Campus. Now, as I look back, I  wonder if I should have also talked to  people who did not find long-lasting  love and friendship at the university,  but at the same time did find some sort  of love here. 

*This article was originally published in our Love Themed Issue – Volume 15| Issue 15. 
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Saanjh Shekhar 

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Saanjh is a third year student who is a HUGE Agatha Christie fan and that's what got her into the world of language. Hit her up for conversations about sociology and/or boy bands!