Being Ca(Me)ra Shy: Too Many Occasions, So Few Images

“Tumhe Instagram par Union announce karna hai, par mein apni photo kahan se lau?” Go ahead and read the story (read: rant) of a camera-shy individual.

P.S. To everyone reading this, your best image is what you perceive as the best and not what the rest perceive it as.

Ever since I remember, I hate being clicked. Whenever the camera pops up anywhere, I just find a place to hide my potato-like face and jelly bean-like body (no wonder why people call me a snack) So I don’t have any pictures of myself that I can proudly state to be the “good one”. If you see my Instagram account, it seriously has zero posts and if you ever try to maintain a Snapchat streak with me (that’s the most useless thing humans do I swear), you will never see my face. 

When I was in school, I never “planned” an outing with my friends. I was so busy with my academics and extracurriculars that I always thought that “once I go to college I will get alot of pictures clicked.” Little did my peanut size brain would know that someone will decide to eat a bat and my Instagram feed dreams will be flushed down the drain. So in totality, I don’t have pictures at all. 

Well, the first year of college went by smoothly: crying about university life, juggling with academics and societies and then boom, I passed my first year online. Now in second year, I became part of the core of different societies. Now that everything’s online, what is the best way to show the world that who are the people behind running a society? Introduce them on various social media platforms with their cute pictures, so that an entire lot of people in the college, who recognize each other only by the alphabet tile that Google Meet shows, know what kind of faces those closed cameras and muted mics have.

For that, everyone asks for your pictures, and man, how to explain to them that in this day and age I don’t get clicked. I mean if you see me someday just capture me in your eyes and forget that I will let you capture myself in your phone (Full Imtiaz Ali vibes). Let me tell you this one amazing incident. One of the society’s digital head’s asked, “Abhivyakti, send a picture of yourself which isn’t too formal neither too informal, it should be like a pleasant one just like your personality.” I mean how do I tell her that I don’t have any pictures at all. How am I suppose to categorize these non-existent entities as not too formal or too informal?

Well, my reluctance to get myself clicked are also deeply rooted in my body image issues, which are a blessing by the random comments that I get from everyone around me. Sometimes I feel if these Digital Heads would have seen my complete body, they wouldn’t have asked for a picture in the first place. I know it’s very self deprecating but I just don’t like how I look in pictures. I wish I could take a screenshot of the mirror. 

Be it a lavish restaurant or a movie hall, I try to get the aesthetic image of the place rather than a good picture of mine. And now also when I am asked for pictures, well I have clicked two selfies and I send them everywhere that I need to send.

My father on the other hand is very active in getting pictures clicked and always encourage us to do that. According to him, memories are best saved in camera rolls, and as you must have discovered till now that I hate being clicked, me and my father usually get into a spat when the camera comes out, and that’s another reason why I am hesitant to get clicked. Neither do I have the confidence to actually strike a pose and then get myself clicked. 

They say DU Societies teach you a lot, so maybe a teaching for me will be to get some good pictures clicked, as once the union is announced and your account is tagged, there is no backspace to delete that. So better give in your best image (the best what you feel is the best)

I will apply for the photography society this time, then I will have some motivation, maybe?!

Read Also:A Hope in the Dark: The Flash of Pictures in Pandemic “

Featured Image Credits: Behance

Abhivyakti Mishra 

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Abhivyakti loves her coffee and spends her life on Google Docs while writing. She often finds herself in Chandler Bing's situation where she can pass a sarcastic comment instead of giving advice. Emotions amalgamated with observation is her treasure of self-expression.