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Sex Amma Talks about Female Masturbation

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Masturbaration is something which Amma believes to be an act of providing a proof for self sufficiency and comfort within yourself, is often equivalent to a mystery for many lovely idlis out there, if you’re one of them don’t worry, Amma is here to spice up your curry.

So, my Idli before diving into details, let me tell you that the myths and taboos attached to female masturbaration hold no relevance in real life. Therefore, have nothing to fear and get ready to explore a new world residing amidst your own body. Just like before the preparation of a dosa, knowing the proper recipe is crucial, in a similar way a proper knowledge about your pleasure parts before you interact with them is very important. So, my idli there are majorly two parts – A) Clitoris, a bean shaped part with the sole purpose of providing erotic pleasure, and B) Vagina, a muscular opening and closing between the cervix and the external opening.

Since now you are well versed with the hidden wonders of your body, it’s time for you to understand their utilisation for seeking the ultimate sensual experience. So, my lovely idli when it’s masturbaration, consider your lady fingers your best friends, trust me they can do some really amazing stuff. Using the tips of your fingers to rub and gently circle around your clit, or using your fingers like a scissor putting each one on the outer side of your labia, increasing and decreasing its pressure works wonderfully for some. The understanding of the technique that works the best for you comes with experimentation and experience.

There are some who like their sambhar spicy for them, amma suggests of using sex toys. There are a variety of sex toys available in the market ranging from dildos to fluorescent colored vibrators, detailed information of which Amma has already provided in one of her previous articles. However, if you are a beginner, it’s better to be organic and use your fingers. One of the very important reasons behind Amma’s infinite love for masturbaration is the complete control one gets to experience in it and since, it’s your own body you know how long and what exactly will make you perceive what you are dying to experience.

So, my beloved idlis it’s time to shift the control in your hands and experience your world of fantasy.
 

(For more sex related queries, write to [email protected])

Sex Amma 

[email protected]

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Sex Amma : Pros and Cons of Ipill

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Sex Amma

Dear Amma, 

I’ve heard about how sex is much better without using condoms, and how pregnancy can be prevented using Ipill? Could you help me out regarding whether I should be on Ipill or not? 

Dear Idli,

Before describing the pros and cons, Amma would like to make you aware about the basic method by which an Ipill works.

Ipill commonly known as ‘the pill’ prevents ovulation in the Idli’s body leaving the spermatozoa of the vada with nothing to interact with. It falls in the category of hormonal birth control as it regulates the release of the hormones governing the release of an egg.
My special Rava Idli, if you haven’t tried it ever before, then let your Amma tell you that the pill has to be taken within 72 hours that is 3 days of unprotected coitus with your partner.

Taking it after that increases the risk of failure so, make sure you keep this in mind. Another thing which one should be aware of is the different types of pills available.

There are basically 2 types of pills available in the market. One of them contains synthetically prepared estrogen, and the other contains synthetically prepared progesterone while the other type contains a combination of both, called as combination pills. The commonly sold, under a title of Ipill belongs to the first category. Now, since you are clear with the bascities its time for you to dive in the details of the pros and cons.

Pros:
• One can experience dosa making without any cover and hindrance along with a mind deprived of any stress of having a little Idli or vada in return.
• It is one of the most easily available and conveniently usable methods of contraception.
• There are combination pills which can be used as a contraceptive as well as a method to regulate or skip your period flow.
• Since, the combination pills result in skipping your periods the menstrual cramps and pre menstrual easiness can be avoided.
• As there is no ovulation, when you consume an Ipill your endometrial lining remains flat and deprived of any swelling, thus avoiding the risk of endometrial cancer.

Cons:
• There is a high possibility of the Idli feeling a strong feeling of nausea and headache after its consumption
• Often there is a possibility of a disturbance in one’s menstrual cycle.
• Acne and pimples are common when you consume an Ipill
• Since, there is an alteration in the release of the hormones governing your menstrual cycle the idli might go through mood swings, making her feel cranky at one moment and extremely excited and happy on the other.
• There is possibility of breakthrough vaginal bleeding between expected periods, if that happens one should immediately contact a gynaecologist.
Having listed all the necessary pros and cons its completely on you Idli that whether you want to try it or not because after all it’s your body, which makes your approval a must. Another significant point that the Amma would like to make is that the above mentioned pros and cons are not a necessity, just like the taste of the sambhar varies with a variation in the chef similarly, the effect an I-pill will have on the health varies with the variation a in idlis. So, take care, think and then decide.

Sex Amma 

[email protected] 

 

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DUB Speak

Sex Amma: The Myth about Casual Dating

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Dear Amma, if I indulge in casual dating, does it give me the tag of a ‘fuck boy’?

Casual dating! Ahhh you know, this is one of Amma’s favourite term when it comes to a conversation about intimacy and stuff related to it. My lovely medu vada, let me tell you one thing when it comes to casual dating, consent and a mutual approval is of utmost importance.
Having a Rava idli just to have its top garnishes of tomato and Kaju without informing her about your plans and intentions in the very beginning is what makes a low quality vada. But, having an idli who approves of your plans and herself wants to be had without sambhar or chutney is absolutely fine.

My dear dosa, the terms and conditions of a casual relationship vary from couple to couple. Owing to the complexity and a variety of flavors to be explored in the sambhar of sexual pleasure, some people desire to experience something else and others, something different. It entirely depends upon you and your idli’s mutual desires of pleasure that what you as couple wishes to experience and what not. Thinking and properly deciding everything beforehand is what Amma would suggest you if you are planning to have a casual bond with your idli.

The youth, often frustrated with the many commitments that the society makes them to have with themselves and their families, gets easily intrigued by casual dating and relationships, something which is not wrong. But, at the same time one should not forget that even casual dating comes with some basic human expectations and doesn’t provide any idli or vada with a liberty to spoil the flavour of cheer and contentment of their partners. So, my special medu be careful of never making your idli feel unworthy or gloomy in any respect, make sure the amount of satisfaction and joy that you get from your connection should be the same for your idli.
Amma recalls of you using the term ‘fuck boy’ in your question. My medu vada, a fuck boy is a vada in which the hole required for fitting a heart is absent and he continues breaking idlis just for the sake of his own pleasure, paying no regard to other’s emotions or feelings. But, if you follow Amma’s advice and properly converse about all your desires and pleasures you wish to seek, then you won’t fall in that category for sure. Often, people see getting casually involved as a crime or sin but trust your amma, anything that makes you happy, without stealing somebody else’s smile will not be falling in that critical category. So go ahead and turn your fantasies into reality.

(For more sex related queries, write to [email protected])

[email protected]

 

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Sex Amma: Pleasure of Erotic Spanking

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Dear Amma, I have been in a relationship with my man roughly for two years now and I really want to try erotic spanking with him but, I just do not know how to convey it to him. I have a fear of making him feel grossed out or getting judged as a masochist. What shall I do Amma?

Oh my dear idli,

Amma also in her days of youth with her hormones raging like boiling sambhar felt an urge to try everything. Coming out from the chachh of nostalgia, my little macchhi, first of all, calm down.I want to assure you that there is nothing to feel grossed out regarding your desire. My spicy idli, spanking can range from being something fun and flirty to being severe and painful. Your choice completely depends on what fits best for you and your Vada.

Now, coming to your issue of conveying it to your vada, see idli just like in every other sexual activity, consent of both the partners is the most important. Do not be afraid to open up to your lover, remind yourself it’s just him, be honest and open about everything you have in your mind. Try creatinga spicy mood and then proceed by asking about his wildest fantasies, and then slowly and gradually reveal yours. Who knows, he might replace the common coconut chutney with the same tangy tamarind. But keep one thing in mind, if he snorts his nose or wrinkles his forehead or you smell any kind of judgmental vibe after revealing your true self, then let me tell you idli, your Vada is not as crisp as you think it is.

Another thing you should keep in mind is machhi, that if anywhere in between you think the pain, instead of giving you pleasure is inflicting tension and depriving you of your comfort, don’t shy away from stopping your partner then and there. So, enough of information, now go ahead and let the spanks add spices to your sambhar making it taste the Heaven and don’t forget to tell the entire tale to your Amma.

(Write to Sex Amma at sexamma@ dubeat.com to get all your queries about sex answered.)

Sex Amma

[email protected]

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Sex Amma Talks about Pansexuality

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My dear munchkins, I present to you some tangy, ready-to-eat advice for this week. If you are confused about the concept of pansexuality, fret not, because Amma is here to help!

Firstly, what I want to tell you all idlis is that gender identity is one such topic that must not be overlooked, because after all, it tells you more about your own self and whether you like dosas, idlis, chutneys or machis.

Secondly, in simple terms, pansexuality or omnisexuality means an attraction to people regardless of their gender. While the concept of gender is not taken into account when a pansexual person is attracted to someone, you could fall for machas and machis both. Now is the time to get out there and explore your identity, my sweet dosa. This may seem confusing but there is only one difference between pansexuality and bisexuality, munchkin. Bisexuality means you are attracted to him or her, whereas pansexuality means you only fall for the personalities of chutneys, machis and sambhars alike.

My beloved dosa, Amma in her days experimented with so many different idlis and loved the experiences. If you somehow believe you are pansexual, fret not, because it is always better to add more to your pool of chutneys. While it is absolutely up to my lovely munchkin whether you want to identify yourself as bisexual or pansexual, however, this identity will only give you clarity about your preferences of sambhars and dosas.

You may drown yourself in the eyes of your chutney, but make sure you use protection and control birth at all costs. You may also feel the ‘need’ to engage in sexual activities, but my dearest idli, do it whenever you are completely ready and comfortable.

Now go out there and explore according to your needs. Amma will be right here to help!

Sex Amma

[email protected]

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Sex Amma: Introduction to BDSM

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Dear Amma,

My partner and I are trying to spice up our relationship and not just with the ‘25 way to spice up your sex life’. We want more than vanilla sex, they want to try BDSM, I am pretty apprehensive about how it works, should I still give it a try? 

My dearest Macchi,

You have come to the right place, your Amma loves to give a try to everything interesting in life, consensually. BDSM or  Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, and Sadism/Masochism is an umbrella term for different types of kinks. You might have watched 50 Shades of Grey, even though it portrays BDSM in a different light, yet brings a lot of limelight along. Remember, before any perfect dosa making, the batter has to be rightly made, BDSM is just experimenting with the perfect dosa making recipe keeping in mind that everyone likes it. 

Idli, BDSM runs on a very consensual, non-judgemental and respectful ground. My favourite word is chutney, so diverse and spicy, you should have a favourite word too as a safe word to let your partner know what is not working for you. The entire point of BDSM is seeking-pleasure, words like Bondage, Dominance, Sadism, Masochism might make you feel more apprehensive. Everyone has different kinks, some might like choking, for some spanking, others might be into flagellating, whips, chains and clamps.

However, it is important that you trust your partner whole-heartedly. Idli-Sambhar, it  should be rightfully discussed and flavoured meeting both of your hunger and preferences. After-care is an essential part where both of you talk about it and discuss whether the salt was of the right amount or not. Many might find some of the acts demeaning or disrespectful like Amma’s friends do of Amma’s kinks. Remember idli, all kinks must be respected; some like their sambhar extra spicy, some like it mild. There shouldn’t be any shame in being a Sub (the one who is submissive), Dom (the one who is dominant), or a Switch (one who switches between both receiving and giving). There are rooms for exploring oneself called playrooms (as Grey called) or dungeons, where one can indulge in safe, sane and consensual sex. 

All of this might sound too heavy; inflicting pain as pleasure, varied kinks, dungeons, however, it is important to know what both (or all) of you like. Establishing a safe space is crucial, all the more relevant in a kink which involves humiliation. Macchi, don’t overthink, fret or feel scared; read, research, know what both of your favourite dishes are and dive in!

Remember, everything has a first time and write back to Amma on how you liked it or not. 

(Write to Sex Amma at [email protected] to get all your queries about sex answered.)

Sex Amma
[email protected]

 

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Sex Amma: The First Time

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Dear Amma, I wanted to save having sex for a special occasion because it feels too special of an activity, while my partner feels we should do it as soon as possible. What do I do?

Dear idli, sex is built on one thing and that is communication. The first thing you and your partner should do for this act of dosa-making to go smoothly is to communicate. Sexual intercourse is an intimate act. In your Amma’s days, she also had a lot of thoughts about it. While people’s opinions on it differ, what remains a fact is that it involves a lot of intimacy and trust. The first thing you need to think about is whether you are ready for, and consensual towards, dosa-making or not.

Some people attach emotions to this act, and that is okay. Some people do not attach emotions to this act, and that is okay too. Yours and your partner’s perception of it can be different, and that is okay. Your partner not attaching any particular emotions to it doesn’t mean he likes you any less, and vice versa. Your partner just needs to respect your emotions and choices, and you need to freely communicate your inhibitions to them. It all boils down to two things – communication and trust. The first step of making the sambhar is trust – decide whether you trust them enough. The next step is communication – communicate with your partner about your feelings regarding sex and listen to what they have to say too. The two of you can then come to a mutually beneficial conclusion based on both your feelings. If they are not willing to listen and understand your choices, then you need to reconsider your relationship. My dear, if you can freely communicate with them without any hesitation and have trust in them, then that is all that matters. Go for it only when you feel you are ready, not when someone tries to pressurise you into it. Go make some fun, spicy sambhar with them, if you want to (and always use protection). But if you don’t feel like it, then you can always make your own spicy sambhar with your own body, without a partner who doesn’t respect your consent.

(Write to Sex Amma at [email protected] to get all your queries about sex answered.)

Sex Amma

[email protected]

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Arts & Culture

Sex Amma on when it’s Time

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Dear Amma, I wanted to save having sex for a special occasion because it feels like too special of an activity while my partner feels we should do it as soon as possible. What do I do?

Dear idli, sex is built on one thing and that is communication. The first thing you and your partner should do for this act of dosa-making to go smoothly is communicate.

Sexual intercourse is an intimate act. In your amma’s days, she also had a lot of thoughts about it. While people’s opinions on it differ, what remains a fact is that it involves a lot of intimacy and trust. The first thing you need to think about is whether you are ready for dosa-making or not.

Some people attach emotions to this act and that is okay. Some people do not attach emotions to this act and that is okay too. You and your partner’s perception of it can be different and that is okay. Your partner not attaching any particular emotions to it doesn’t mean they like you any less and vice versa. Your partner just needs to respect your emotions and choices and vice versa.

It all boils down to two things- communication and trust.

The first step of making the sambhar is trust- Decide whether you trust them enough. The next step is communication- communicate with your partner about your feelings regarding sex and listen to what they have to say too. The two of you can then come to a mutually beneficial conclusion based on both your feelings. If they aren’t willing to listen and understand your choices, then you need to reconsider your relationship.

My dear, if you can freely communicate with them without any hesitation and have trust in them, then that is all that matters. Go for it only when you feel you’re ready.

Go make fun spicy sambhar with them and be sure to always stay protected!

 

Sex Amma

[email protected]

 

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Sex Amma: Aids to prevent AIDS

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Dear Munchkins

 

Many of you little idlis like to  “canoodle” around with your special chutneys, or maybe even with some random dosas so as to spice up your thaalis. I would be lying if I said I don’t enjoy a little bit of mirchi myself. Yet, today, on World AIDS Day, I feel it an obligation to prime you all about this ravaging pandemic so as to ensure your safety.

 

Did you know, around 37.9 million people across the world are living with AIDS? Within India itself we have around 2.1 million diagnosed patients. It is not an uncommon disease, implying that all you little vadas need to be extremely careful and cautious while having sex. It is important to note that HIV does not spread through bodily contacts such as handshakes, or hugs. It is spread only in certain body fluids from a person who has HIV. These fluids are blood, semen, pre-seminal fluids, rectal fluids, vaginal fluids, and breast milk.

 

All you lovely uttapams must watch out for signs and symptoms of the virus. The first few weeks after initial infection, one may experience no symptoms or an influenza-like illness including fever, headache, rash, or sore throat. As the infection progresses, one can develop other signs and symptoms, such as swollen lymph nodes, weight loss, fever, diarrhoea and cough.

 

In such cases, little idlis, you must get tested and treated for sexually transmitted diseases. Having an STD can increase your risk of becoming infected with HIV or spreading it to others. The most imperative and obvious measure to be taken is the use of contraceptives. It is crucial that you have healthy communication with your sexual partners. If either is HIV positive, taking regular medication can reduce the amount of the virus in the body to an undetectable level. People with HIV who maintain an undetectable viral load have effectively no risk of transmitting HIV to their HIV-negative partner through sex.

 

Other points to note so as to reduce the risk of getting HIV is avoiding risky sexual behaviours and limiting the number of sexual partners. Another common source of the spread is sharing needles or syringes that may be contaminated with HIV infected blood.

 

Though HIV is not a curable disease, timely treatments and correct medication can prevent its spread and allow the patients to live longer healthier lives. Today is an opportunity for all of us to unite in the fight against HIV, to show support for people living with HIV, and to commemorate those who have died from an AIDS-related illness. It is high time we end this taboo and stand together as one!

 

Stay safe, my sweet jalebis, and happy sex!

 

 

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Sex Amma: On the Mystery of Same-Sex Love

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Dear Amma, I’m gay, and I recently started dating a classmate. We plan on having sex, but I feel scared and insecure. He is my first boyfriend, and I don’t want anything to go wrong while we have sex. Help me, Amma!
Dear Idli, congratulations on coming out to the world.

Amma knows that it is a big step which requires loads and loads of courage. I am glad you have embraced your identity, vada. Munchkin, I want you to know that sexuality is fluid. You have an ocean that awaits you, there is so much about sexuality and desire that you will explore. It will be a beautiful journey – there will be times where you will get hurt, your expectations might not be met, you might even embarrass yourself in front of your partner, but my appam, it is how you will grow.

You will learn what you like, and don’t like, through these experiences. Don’t restrain yourself. The first time can be intimidating but it doesn’t have to be ‘perfect’. Now, Idli, always use condoms if you’re hooking up with a person with a penis, and dental dams if it is a person with a vagina. Make sure you use loads and loads of lube if you’re planning on penetration.
Ask your partner what they like and don’t like. Lay down your boundaries, use safe-words. Your Amma is telling you, consent is sexy! Ask your partner if they like what you are doing. You never know where foreplay could lead you, and if you plan on exploring something a little kinkier, tell them about it! Munchkin, remember sexual health is important, too. Always pee after sex to prevent the risk of getting urinary tract infections and get tested every three months for sexually transmitted diseases.

While Amma understands that it might be hard to find queer-friendly doctors, but please get tested for HIV-AIDS as well, and ask about the HPV vaccine. Remember, my vada, sex is what you define it as, not how the world defines it for you. Now go out and get it!
(Write to Sex Amma at [email protected] to get all your queries about sex answered.)

Sex Amma

[email protected]

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