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What’s more difficult than having to say goodbye to your friends, professors, college lawns, your college canteen, and the city you called “home”? It’s figuring out what to do next. What’s the next stop in this journey for which you neither have an itinerary nor a guide to help you schedule your breakdowns? 

It’s 7 pm on a Saturday, you’ve completed all your work and the city lights are more beautiful than ever. You get a text from your friend about a party happening merely two blocks away. You have a faint smile on your face, but somehow your eyes don’t glimmer at the text the way they would have 2 weeks ago. It’s not that you don’t want to go, it’s your heart’s faint protest that is almost 3 days too early. Why, you ask? It’s your graduation ceremony on Monday. Three years of crying for this degree (and with it) have finally ended. But what’s this queasy feeling inside of you? Instead of being happy, you wrestle with this scintilla of bitterness in your chest.

Delhi University, home to thousands of young students, some who grew up here, and others who chose to be here. The ones who did choose also made the choice of leaving their homes behind. The life they’d grown to love, and the life that they now cherish only in memories. Nonetheless, once the city of Delhi – the “Dilwalon ki Dilli” – casts its spell on you, your definition of home begins to expand. You begin to grow a life here, and perhaps, start loving it a bit too. Your friends become your family, your professors become parents.

And yes, soon enough, the career dilemma, the imposter syndrome, and a pile of assignments creep in, and you also finally learn what it means to be truly overwhelmed. The friends that have now become your family also sometimes become a shoulder to cry on when you can’t bear the concept of college any longer. Between the fun, frolic, and a lil bit of crying, acceptance becomes your natural response. And the moment you finally, completely, truly come to terms with this acceptance…snap! Three years are over. 

What follows is the same bitterness, the same anxiety that smuggled its way into your head three years ago when you chose to leave your first home. Except now, you also need to find a job, earn money, and figure out what to do next, all on your own. Acceptance gets replaced with denial (or finally finds its way back to it), and the only “acceptance” you can tolerate are university, internship, and offer letters. No one said it was going to be easy, but between watching yourself stress over college assignments to now stressing over month-end because the paycheck isn’t in yet? Adulting becomes the cold hard reality. 

More than anxiety it’s the pressure of trying to know which city I’m going to go to next. Even if you miss home, you tend to familiarize yourself with the new idea of home and what you’ve found, i.e pretty much wherever you stay has to become your home for a particular amount of time. The home conundrum for me is missing my home, the one I grew up in, constantly and always wanting to go back, but also the feeling of sadness that comes when I realize I will have to leave my current residence in a few days, and then also wanting to stay back a few more days here.” – Debarati Mitra, a 3rd-year student at Maitreyi College and a beloved ex-DUB correspondent

So yeah, the nostalgia learns to balance itself out with the anticipation of tomorrow. Adulting is no longer a Gen-Z slang but something real you get to deal with. As the class of 2023 graduates, and combs into the tousled mess of being an adult, there is, but one takeaway: patience. Be patient, work hard, take care, be madly in love with yourself, and let life piece itself together as you find its various jumbled pieces along the way.

Featured Image Credits: DU Beat Archives/ Sukriti

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Vidushi Sinha

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College-going women’s struggles with eating disorders have intensified with increasing pressure from all the spheres. Look at the dilemmas and reasons pushing EDs forth in women, and what it ultimately means for us.

The transition process from high school to college can be intimidating and the constant need to fit in, while handling studies, work, future woes, and the everyday struggle that comes with an independent lifestyle might result in a lot of stress that can translate into eating disorders. An eating disorder is not a lifestyle choice but it shapes out of stress, depression, or anxiety, which requires immediate attention. It can cause severe health issues in the future ranging from suicide to death from starvation, etc.

Eating disorders are much more common in young women and especially in those women who already have some history of depression, anxiety, or self-image issues stemming from insecurities and paranoia. This feeling of being insufficient and the need for acceptance and love can lead to the amplification of their desire to have a certain body shape. Hence, they start either starving themselves or binge-eating which is followed by heavy purging.

College life comes with all the glitz and glamour of societies, sports, innumerable opportunities, socialising, and promises of the great, but college also exposes women to the negative aspect of fitting in, to the idea of certain “perfect” body shape, and it can also feed into the conditioning of your body defining your self-worth.

College with studies, figuring out your future, building yourself and also staying afloat in the mayhem of parties and finding love is a very hectic place to be. For women suffering from body dysmorphia, it can be quite overbearing given the patriarchal set-up of even metropolitans like Delhi that subtly, or sometimes not so subtly, brands certain kinds of lifestyles as desirable and aspirational, while negating certain others. Beauty as a social construct is not just conditioned in such set-ups, but it is made to feel natural.

Societies and various sport teams are there for nurturing your talent, providing a means to bring out your abilities but the level of competition and added stress these societies and teams bring can also manifest into eating disorders.

In a candid conversation with an ex-member of Glitz, the fashion society of Kamla Nehru College, she reveals, “Girls who join societies undergo added pressure from crowd along with their performance. It is not easy to perform in front of large crowds and many girls cave into that pressure. Relentless practices and the huge crowd makes me conscious about my looks and there are occasions when I go on diets for a long period of time out of fear of gaining weight. It did affect my health and brought lot of weakness and inability to cope with my studies.”

My own experience when I joined the college basketball team wasn’t full of roses and sunshine. In the first year itself, I developed a severe eating disorder which was mainly due to the hectic schedule. Being an outstation student living independently, I started taking food and my health for granted. It took a negative toll on my health resulting in constant weakness, lack of concentration, long bouts of lethargy, which further spiralled dangerously into low white blood cells’ count. With a strict diet and work regimen, I was able to bounce back but it is not that easy for everyone. Severe eating disorder demands immediate medical help that only a physician can provide.

Having an eating disorder requires immediate attention and introspection. You need to understand that it is connected to your mental well-being and is getting translated in a very harmful way. If not handled immediately it can have a long-term negative impact on your body. Hence, we need to talk more about this and not subject the women suffering from this with severe criticism and judgement.

Feature Image Source: Odyssey

Antriksha Pathania
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Studying at Delhi University is a dream for every Indian student.

Students from all parts of the country come together to spend some of the best years of their lives together, meet new people, and gain new-fangled experiences. While stepping out of the protected environment of your house brings a large number of perks, it brings with itself a plethora of problems too. Here are a few issues that every outstation student can relate to:
Home sickness

Nobody is the tough guy they imagined themselves to be. Yes, it is emotionally frustrating and sad to be away from home. This feeling escalates especially when you are sick and have no one to look after you. You may get an excellent friend circle to have all the fun with, but you wouldn’t be a part of the Sunday family dinners or your dog’s birthday celebration. Being away from family will always create a void that can’t be filled by anyone else.
The Real Homesickness: Awful food

The homesickness gets real when you eat your hostel/flat/PG food. No matter how fancy or exorbitantly priced your accommodation is, the milk will always going to be diluted and you will always breathe a sigh of sadness after looking at your dinner sabzi. This crisis may cause you to put your cooking and culinary skills to test. Time and again, you would come with ideas of opening a start-up to relieve your fellow comrades of this suffering.
Above all, you realise how good a cook your mom is.
Being perpetually broke

The cash always seems enough in the beginning of the month but you can never figure out where it all went in between. You realise what a brat you are, when after fulfilling the cost of your monthly basic necessities, you barely make both ends meet. Now your favourite biscuit packet which you wolfed down ungratefully at home is actually a fetched luxury! Nevertheless, this perpetual state of being broke will end up improving your bargaining skills. Being away from home, you learn the value of each hard-earned penny.
Sharing accommodations

Once upon a time, we all thought sharing rooms with our friends would be so cool. But, we never thought how overwhelming it could be. All the fights regarding splitting bills, AC temperatures, maintaining silence and sharing washrooms can get to you pretty quick, especially if you don’t have patience. Words like privacy and personal space seize to exist and all you crave for is a moment all by yourself in your room.
Trying to fit in

Every new small town student trying to adjust in the big metropolitan city knows how hostile Delhi can be sometimes. The commotion of vehicles, congested roads, travel time, and pollution levels are much worse in comparison to home. There is a constant fear of mispronouncing words, thanks to the accent your local language gave you, and not being aptly dressed according to the fashionable Delhiites. While this complex does surface time and again, you gradually realise your peers are more accepting and open than you thought them to be, and so is the cosmopolitan city of Delhi which will become your second home in no time.

Feature Image Credits: Rishabh Gogoi for DU Beat.
Bhavika Behal
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Dear Outstation Best Friend,

I know it’s been quite a while since you’ve left this town and I should probably get used to your absence by now, but I haven’t. I don’t think I ever can. I still miss those early morning assemblies where you’d be the first one I’d look for in the school crowd, just to sneak off somewhere and complete our previous night’s stories; or start a new one. I still miss spending time with you for hours and watching time fly in the blink of an eye, before its time to go home. I still miss calling you for the most random reasons and end up getting a sore throat because of our never ending conversations. Most of all, I still miss seeing you every day like a family and giggling for no reason, letting the people around us wonder why!

Despite it all, I’ve learnt to accept the goodness in the changes that life has brought our ways and am willing to continue as long as we grow together. Even though you and I have made a few mistakes, we shall not let the distance between us grow any stronger. Before it’s too late, let’s renew some of our promises to each other and strengthen our long distance love more than ever.

PROMISE #1: I promise to let you go! (When it’s time for your non-refundable flight to take off)

I’ll try to take your occasional going-away’s as lightly as possible without begging you to stay any longer or creating a complete emotional mess out of you just before you leave. Because let’s admit it, you could always find someone interesting or good looking in flights (and sometimes, their cute bff too!)

PROMISE #2: I promise to keep you updated with every single thing in my life

From the latest sitcom addictions to the places I visit the next day, I’d never let you miss out anything new or old happening with me, even if it takes several hours to just type it all down. Just in case I forget something, you’ve been granted full permission to scold me fiercely (even though you’ll do it without my consent)

PROMISE #3: I promise NOT to freak out every time I witness your late replies or broken promises of callbacks

I’ll try to remember that you too, have a life of your own now and its completely okay for you to get stuck somewhere or fall asleep, or yes, the most forbidden one- FORGET to text or call me back. Even though it’s going to be really hard, I’ll forgive you once in a while- okay fine, always! *hmph*

PROMISE #4: I promise to be EXACTLY the same on the phone with you as we are in person (since we get to live those moments quite rarely now)

No matter where we are or whoever it is we’re with, I promise to never control myself from jumping excitedly or laughing hysterically with you, even for the most random and meaningless reasons. Everyone around us should be able to recognize the person we’re on the phone with just by a mere look at us and thus, never dare to interrupt. At least until the force of nature plays its role and worsens our connection just to leave some topics for us to cover the next day.

PROMISE #5: I promise to never get jealous of your new found friends

As much as I will be okay with them for giving you company in my absence (hopefully), I would also try to resist making fun of them at every chance I get, mispronounce their names deliberately or taunt you about the memories you made with them behind my back, especially the ones that we couldn’t, just yet.

PROMISE #6: I promise to never fight/argue with you like an old married couple

If things get way out of control and you end up committing the deadly sins of either sharing more secrets with your new friends and that too, BEFORE me, or hanging out with them without telling me, then you are likely to experience some unpleasant consequences. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t stay mad at you for too long because although you’d be reminded of your deeds repeatedly, what’s that everyone keeps posting nowadays? Oh yes, “For you, a thousand times over” (yes, even for a cheater Bff like you)

PROMISE #7: I promise to talk to you as soon as I MISS you (on hearing/seeing something that reminds me of our friendship)

How badly I envy those who continue to stay in the same town as their best friend and visit the same places or listen to the songs that once defined their friendship without feeling the absence of the other and oh yes, shedding a few tears!

PROMISE #8: I promise to cancel everything and everyone on the day you arrive

Whether it’s work, extra lectures or prior commitments with other people in my life, I’ll simply erase everything out of my mind and rush as fast as I can to you to make the most of our time. I’ll start planning everything from the best restaurants to movies or talk about all the recent developments in our lives, until of course you’re done resting or cribbing about your jet lag (in my lively presence).

PROMISE #9: I promise to let it all out the moment I meet you (even if you think I should promise you the opposite)

After a suppression of thousands of emotions gushing inside of me like a waterfall, chances are that they’ll be taken out on you in the craziest of ways. So kindly forgive me in advance! While you may get slapped more than a few times for providing me with all the pain of our separation, you will also get the tightest and longest hug from me yet, because that will only express my love for you.

PROMISE #10: I promise to pick up exactly from where we left off, as if we never spent any time apart

It’ll only be a matter of few seconds before we switch back into our usual, kiddo personalities and come out with our crazier selves again, impossible for anyone to handle. I thus, hope to continue the tradition of always acting completely mental with you in public and embarrassing you to such a point that it either leads to people’s deep stares or us being thrown out of their premises, politely.

PROMISE #11: I promise to protect you from people who even TRY to hurt you

Despite being miles away, all I require is that person’s full name and contact number and I’ll teach them a lesson of such a sort that they’ll remain too scared to mess with you or anyone for as long as they shall live. (You know I can do that)

PROMISE #12: I promise to be there for you always and love you forever, no matter what

As cliché as this sounds, it’s as honest as it could possibly be. Irrespective of our number of fights, mistakes or miscommunication, you’re the one person I can completely be myself with and there’s nothing you could do or say that could possibly make me want to leave or let you go. Neither, will there be in the future.

So, yes, even though the realization of you being far away still hits me now and then, yet, I’m taking it one WhatsApp text/call at a time. Distance may have tried to push us away from each other but surprisingly, it has also brought us closer in many little ways by giving us better reasons to love each other more and provide us with something amazing to look forward to every single day. So, remember, my stupid, irreplaceable best friend: You may be out of sight, but you’ll never be out of my mind. I love you with all my heart. Always have, always will!

Yours (and yes, only yours) truly,

Hometown Best Friend

P.s. After reading this, you better be on your next flight back home.

Image Credits: www.pintinterest.com

Shagun Marwah

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University was about to be a huge step for me. Since, childhood I had been fortunate enough to have cruised through my kindergarten, middle school, high school from one school. The environment and dynamics had never changed. The world felt minuscule yet at that time, there was no other image of the world that a 16 year old could envision other than the same lawns, the same buildings and the same auditorium every single day.

A week after my board exams, it was conveyed to me that I had to take the next train to the national capital. My dad been working there for close to 3 years and it was time for me to take my admission in the University of Delhi. After scoring an 85% in my ISC exams, I had lost hope. However, I took admission at Sri Aurobindo College (evening) in my favourite course Economics Honours.

The environment in the college was entirely opposite. I had to meet people from different sections of the society with completely heterogeneous qualities within each and every student. There were some people who had extreme faith in social taboos, while there were others who had extremely progressive views. I stood in the middle. I soon found out that this was not specific. Delhi was the city which accommodated people from all sections of the society and from different parts of the country. The vibrancy in the discussions intrigued me and made me appreciate this new city.

Classes were frequent and knowledgeable. Yet, my college lacked initiative in forming societies which could have enabled kids like us to focus on more research based activities. Coming from a traditionally leftist hegemonic society, which was both progressive yet adaptive to some extent – Kolkata, I was determined to contrive and implode against the administration. It paid off. A society was formed however, the organizational backing was lacking (which later changed after my departure).

To seek better opportunities I migrated to Motilal Nehru College in second year. Here I was successful in opening the Enactus chapter with fellow like minded students. And then went on to assist in opening the leadership cell as well. Although, the administration was a bit more accommodative, the environment in the college was the same. A potpourri of students with poles apart views yet, studying together – peacefully.

University life has been a great boon in my personality. As I leave my college and say my goodbyes to the University, it gives me great pleasure to reminisce about the changes in my personality. As an outstation student it gives me great happiness to see the maturity in my thoughts and the adaptivity of new ideas which were earlier never realized when I was in school.

Perhaps the best thing about my stay in Delhi is the opportunity that I had of meeting new people and understanding the essence of the real society.

Image credits: www.hiteshkumar.com

Ishaan Sengupta 

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One of the many perks of being in a society is travelling for outstation festivals much different from that of regular Delhi University fests. Most common being the festivals of Indian Institute of Technology`s (IIT), Birla Institute of Technology (BITS) and Indian Institute of Management (IIMS). These trips are definitely lifetime experiences filled with fun and memories.

However, there are a set of emotions and thoughts that every participant goes through on these outstation trips. So here is a list that follows it.

Travelling in sleeper class

You may have passed judgments on people you meet in college who confess of never having taken an auto or a metro in their life but traveling in a sleeper class of the Indian railways is some serious public transport case.  Most trips are budget restricted so AC three tier is usually not an option and flights almost never. It’s a definitely a first time experience for many, eased by the comfort of company and fun.

That feeling of adulthood

As you are laughing and having a good time, a terrorizing thought comes across your mind. ‘I think I forgot my costume’, ‘I think I forgot my instrument’, and almost always, ‘I think I forgot my college ID card’. That nagging feeling of having forgotten something gets you worked up, making you imagine of alternatives in case it turns out to be true. Most often than not, everything is in place but no matter how prepared you are, these questions always pop up. Travelling with a college society forces you to take care of yourself and your belongings.

Accommodation

After travelling in a sleeper class you seem prepared to challenge any hardships in life but you start doubting that when you come across the accommodation arrangements. A Servant quarter, dorm, hostel rooms, just anything and everything becomes accommodation with lined up mattresses. In case you are lucky you may get a comfortable place otherwise it is a constant struggle for using the bathroom and charging ports, not to forget sleeping on vintage mattress.

Late nights

Soon you realize that the campus never sleeps. At many places competitions run through the night with events at odd hours such as 2:30 am and 4:00 am. People are on the roads chatting, singing, dancing having a gala time, its 24×7 party out on the streets and sleep is for the weak

Competition and Exposure

In festivals of above-mentioned institutes, participants come from all over India bringing in eclectic forms and variations. It makes you realize the kind of competition out there and exposes you to innovative ideas and methods. It’s a learning experience and an opportunity to recognize your standing in the league.

Exploring the city

Going for competitions to places such as Goa, Mumbai or Bengaluru, the fun extends beyond the campus to the sights of the city. Indulging in local food, clicking photographs and trinket shopping make it all worthwhile. This is also the time when you bond with the members of the group and get to know each other that is otherwise missed out on regular college days.

Outstation trips naturally match you up with your kind in the group, on the basis of sleeping, eating and partying patterns. Its purpose becomes more than the competition you came for. It becomes the memories you create, the first-times and the last-times, the games of ‘Never Ever Have I’ and ‘Truth or Dare’.

College trips are times that bring excitement and glee every time you recall them and going to one with a purpose just makes it better!

 Image credits: http://yourstoryclub.com/

 

If you happen to roam around North Campus, there are two things you won’t miss seeing: one, a fast-food corner and two, students. They are everywhere, be it Kamla Nagar, Roop Nagar or Aadarsh Nagar. This is not news since North Campus is all about DU colleges. With these students, comes the question of their accommodation as more than 70% of them are outstation residents. It is here that these ‘fancy’ PGs play their role, and how! The students are provided with a fully air conditioned room, a gym, “all kinds of beauty treatment facilities”, Maggi and cold drinks a phone call away, 24 hours power back up, Wi-Fi, personal bathrooms, any time cab facility and so on! The rates of such PGs range from Rs 14000 to 20000 per month.

“In our times a student’s life was considered to be one filled with hardships, where a good result was the fruit of multiple sacrifices that the student made by leaving the comfort of his home and by surviving the brutalities of the world outside. And look at the scenario now!” comments a DU teacher. The students, away from home, live in much luxury now, and their parents think nothing of the 20 or so grand they lavish on their kid each month. The worst part is that the quality of all these PGs tops the scale during the first few months, but it’s downhill after that. Reportedly, the Wi-Fi stops working, the food quality deteriorates and the AC does not work half of the time. “We don’t have an alternative to leave the PG and move elsewhere since that would result in us forfeiting the security the landlords take in the beginning (which is rent of two months)” says Ridhima, a paying guest.

Most of the PGs are not even registered, meaning that they are not legally permitted to carry on a commercial business. The tactics that they use to exploit the comfort-seeking students is deplorable. Just half a decade back the maximum a hostel or a PG charged was Rs 7000.

However, a respite from these fraud PGs is DU hostel. The newly opened Undergraduate hostel and the Rajiv Gandhi hostel for girls are not only cheap but far better than these PGs.  They are clean, spacious and the food is hygienic and delicious. And all this in around Rs 24000 per year! The admission to the hostel is however on merit basis since they provide accommodation only to 800 girls.

 

Aishwarya Chaurasia
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Image credits: Sapna Mathur