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A fresh bowl of a ruined semester is one of the most historical dishes of University of Delhi, passing from one batch to another as a legacy. Here is an easy to learn instant recipe to acheive your own ruined semester.

Cooking Time: 6 months

Cal: An average CGPA

Ingredients

  1. Previous Semester’s Grade
  2. Procrastination- 8 Cups
  3. Scrolling on Social Media- 3 Cups
  4. Bunking Sessions
  5. Proxies (optional)
  6. Failed Mass Bunks
  7. Feelings for Crush
  8. YouTube Videos
  9. Netflix (according to spice tolerance)
  10. Societies’ sessions
  11. Fest season
  12. Kasol trip (skip this step if impossible)
  13. Guilt Trip
  14. Tears 
  15. Previous Years’ Papers
  16. Coffee
  17. False Promises (suggested garnish)

Method:

  1. Take a pan and sauté the previous Semester’s Grade with undivided focus, add 2 tbsp of free periods spent in the library. Let it burn. Empty the residue at the back of your head.
  2. Take another pan to add 8 generous cups of procrastination, mix it with 3 cups of frequent scrolling on Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp. Let the mixture cook for 5 ½ months. (Caution: it may lead to allergic reactions like insomnia and lack of concentration during lectures. This may even compel you to miss your lectures scheduled at 8:45 am.)
  3. Grind a few innocent bunking sessions, adding a few drops of pleasant proxies might make the substance addictive in nature. Dry roast failed mass bunks and add it to render slight bitterness. Grind it till a paste is formed having a thick consistency. Add this paste to the pan. Let it cook on medium heat.
  4. At this point empty the newly developed feelings for your crush into a bowl. Marinate it with 2 cups of casual feed checks, several drops of attempts to start a conversation and a pinch of heart-burning. Take a smaller bowl and add romantic hypothetical situations along with 100 grams of cheesy pick up lines for a peculiar texture. Whisk as hard as you can till the emulsion starts bubbling. Now slowly drizzle 2 cups of realization that your crush is in a 3 years old relationship. Transfer the emulsion into the marinade and let it rest.
  5. Add earphones in a large skillet or pot (select a suitable size according to the time taken for you to reach home) over medium-high heat. When sizzling, add YouTube videos to taste. Stir occasionally. One may add mid-week Netflix binge-watching sessions according to their spice tolerance.
  6. Check the pan and stir it with a ladle to avoid the mixture from sticking to the bottom like your professors’ expectations from your assignments. Generously add society meetings, double the number of society meetings if you are in the dramatics society, further add deadlines and workload. Cut your soul into two halves, chop one of the two halves finely and sprinkle it for aesthetic beauty. Add the other half if you are organizing any fest.
  7. Transfer the contents of the pan into the pot. Let the sauce heat and flow over. 
  8. Turn on the “mid-semester break” exhaust when a pungent smell is observed. Take a break from the kitchen and go for a Kasol trip with friends. Now, remember about the fourth step and let your heart sink. Alcohol consumption may reduce heartburn.
  9. As soon as you start feeling alive, turn off the exhaust. At this point, you will realize that the kitchen is burnt. It is time to start all over again.
  10. Repeat step 1-7 and fail miserably.
  11. Take the last skillet available, place it on high heat and add 3 tbsp of semester date sheet, this may cause choking and loss of senses. 
  12. Frantically add 100 slices of guilt trip, a generous number of tears and finely chopped previous years’ papers. Stir vigorously and add infinite cups of coffee for better results.
  13. Garnish with false promises of hard work for the next semester. Serve when hot and burns self-confidence.

 

Feature Image Credits: Aditi Gutgut

Priyanshi Banerjee

[email protected]

Time flies! And in what seems like the blink of an eye, the semester exams have, yet again, come knocking at the reluctant doors of students. Here are seven hacks to help you save this semester! 

 

Exams are an inevitable reality in students’ life, and although the effectiveness of the concept of examinations is debatable, there is but little we can do about them.

Having said that, here are a few hacks that will get you through this exam season.

  1. Begin studying: This seems to be a no-brainer. However, it is the most difficult step because often we are so caught up in procrastination, that we spend the day being anxious and get little or nothing done. Physically force yourself to study for five minutes, and it should be a smoother process from there.

 

  1. If you don’t feel like studying, ask your body why: When in a situation wherein you can’t seem to study, ask yourself the reason behind it. Often, it is elements like fatigue, an untidy study-space, information overload, or hunger that acts as a barrier. When your body tells you the reason, listen to it and take measures accordingly – be it a power-nap, tidying up, or a snack.

 

  1. Stay hydrated: Water is always a better option over caffeinated drinks, because the latter tends to make you jittery and restless. Accompanied by a snack, this will give you the little doses of energy that you require.

 

  1. Watch motivational videos: Studying for several hours may render you lifeless, and throw you into pits where you question your existence. But, there are motivational videos that could, possibly, bring back the enthusiasm.

 

 

 

  1. Try to change your place of study: Studying in the same corner may get a bit dull after a certain point. Think of sitting outdoors or on your balcony while reading texts, on the floors of the rarely-used guest bedroom while writing an assignment, and then getting back to your good-old-study-table eventually.

 

  1. Ask for help: If there are concepts that aren’t clear, don’t hesitate to ask your peers or teachers. Teachers should be able and willing to help, and on teaching you, your peers are revising their portions as well.

 

  1. Solve previous years’ question papers: There is a set pattern for the type of questions that are asked in an examination.
    Here’s the link to DU’s question papers: http://www.du.ac.in/du/index.php?page=academic-resources

We won’t say that exams aren’t important, because how society has it, they are. If you haven’t started studying yet, don’t panic and begin with it. If you put honest effort into it, a good score is waiting for you.

Best of luck!

Image credits: DU Beat

 

Maumil Mehraj

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