TOP 5 WAYS TO BE A BRAT
Ask your parents for stars, Jupiter, an island with coconut trees…etc. and when they refuse, say “You can’t even do this much for me? I hate you!” and bawl Don’t do your assignment. Tell your teacher you didn’t get time because your Siberian cat wanted her ear to be scratched and you had to monitor...
TOP 5 Ways to save face during Common Wealth Games 2010
During the week of the Games, if a foreigner beside you feels irritated about dirty surroundings and the tacky smell, shrug, wave a hand in front of your face and say, “I know! Wonder how people live here. I’m new too.” The most worrying issue is the traffic jams and bottle necks. DUB comes up...
Top 5 College Monsters
1) Principalstein: Monster Supreme. Reigns over institution and inspires fear in the other monsterettes as well. Mission – To exterminate students’ happiness and convert college into self-styled deluxe prison 2) Professaur: Inordinately stingy when it comes to marks and even more so in the case of attendance. Efficient substitute for sleeping pills 3) Librarianator: Hobbles...
TOP 5 places where taxpayer’s money is ‘utilized’
In building memorials and statues of Mayawati and her party members to show compassion for our downtrodden Dalit brethren. In the delicious samosas and khadak chai that is offered to the wealthy when they enter a policestation, after all the policewallah’s transfer is at stake! In the re-painting of the sidewalks and divider stones in...
Top 5 ways to avoid getting ragged
5.Hire a beefy bodyguard and hide behind him at any sign of trouble 4. Chin up, chest out. Strut around like you’re Sylvester Stallone from Rambo and look everyone straight in the eye. You can even nick your little brother’s toy guns and keep twisting them around in your hands cowboy-style for added effect. 3....
Top 5 ways to totally screw up your exam
5) Make a paper-plane out of your question paper and aim it at the invigilator 4) Say something on the lines of “Save our trees! Stand up against paper wastage!” and stomp out of the examination hall with your nose in the air. 3) Spill water over your question paper and ask for...
TOP 5 ways to take advantage of holi
5) Get back at your annoying roommate who habitually takes over your common bathroom to attend to her toilette by giving her a Holi-style makeover 4) Ask the hot girl next door out for dinner. If she snubs you, you can always say, “Well, thank god. I don’t like her at all. It was...
Top 5 things to do in the Metro
5) Plug in your earphones and nod in time to the song. Pretend you’re listening to dhinchak music even if all you’re hearing is some bhojpuri remix 4) Count the number of stops left, then calculate the average time the Metro takes to travel between two stops and based on that, how much longer...
Top 5 fests of last year
1. IIT, Delhi: Rendezvous, IIT Delhi’s annual fest is, technically, the first festival of the year, and so it brings with it a sense of anticipation and curiosity. Each year, IIT Delhi outdoes itself with the level of competition and almost everyone waits for their much talked about rock show: Blitzkreig. Highlight: The idea of...
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