Marking during internal evaluation has been a much debated topic in LSR. Students often complain about the stringent hand that college deals them while their counterparts in North Campus colleges are supposedly marked rather leniently which results in them scoring higher overall percentages.

This year the sudden need of moderation of internal marks of students in the annual mode may be a consequence of uncharacteristically brilliant results of the students under the ‘glorious’ semester system. While some students believed that moderation may help stabilize their marks as different teachers have varied marking patterns others opined that the delay in returning the answer scripts to their rightful owners was merely because teachers hadn’t corrected the answer scripts in time. However, the truth remains that the students of the English department of LSR had not received the answer scripts of the mid-term examination that they appeared for a month ago till very recently.

Sakshi Ghai, a 3rd year student of Philosophy was a recent victim of this sadistic mechanism. “After having scored 91 in my one of my papers I was shocked to hear my teacher contemplating reducing 4 marks in each question post moderation.” she said. It is important to note that it is only students studying theoretical subjects who would be affected by moderation. Meanwhile, students who chose to tread the path of ‘ignorance is bliss’ were delighted with the delay in knowing their impending fate.

The suspense created by the examiners was a heady one although anticlimactic in nature for many. “The hue and cry about moderation was for nothing as it hasn’t reflected in my marks at all.” Confessed Adilah Ismail, a 2nd year student of English Literature.

The moderation mayhem may have affected students of various departments differently but it has taught them an important life lesson which is to approach life with a tinge of irony instead of heroism or despair.

Pragya Lal
pragyal@dubeat.com 

In such a scenario had Salman Rushdie’s impending arrival in India for the Jaipur Literature Festival not caused a stir, more than just a handful amongst us would’ve sat up and taken notice. Why should his return be such a cause for concern though? We’re all fully aware that India as a country does not dwell in the past and always believes in looking forward; therefore, to find the answer we must go back to the year 1988 when Mr. Rushdie’s novel The Satanic Verses was released.

Another exercise these mullahs are particularly adept at is misinterpreting any written statement, be it from a novel of from a cookbook for that matter. So it didn’t come as a surprise when they mistook Mr. Rushdie’s choice of title to imply that the Quran itself was being touted as the ‘Satanic Verses’ or when translated in Arabic, ‘verses from evil’.

Anybody who is familiar with Mr. Rushdie’s writing and appreciates it would not run screaming blasphemy to the nearest police station knowing fully well that Satanic Verses is meant to be a fictional piece of work. But that is exactly what happened. The supreme leader of Iran, Ayatollah Khomeini, went to the extent of issuing a fatwa against this modern Islamist. The fatwa called upon Muslims to execute this heretic for he must ‘incur the wrath of God and be unsuccessful in his quest towards maligning the Prophet’. It also served as a warning to those who might be foolish enough to insult the ‘sacred belief of the Muslims’.

Considering the novel was written in English for a Western audience and was much appreciated for the literary skill it displayed, the book along with its author was banned in several countries including India. Moreover, that wasn’t the end of the atrocities. A reward was announced for the one who would ‘terminate that anti-Islamist’. Apart from several assassination attempts on Rushdie, bookstores were bombed, copies of the book were burnt, several translators and publishers were attacked and quite a few were killed.

Whatever the time period, to say the furor was justified would be pushing things more than just a wee bit. This reaction which gave fanaticism an entirely new meaning took half the world with surprise. The concept of freedom of speech and action became the hypocrite’s fable and mullahs were pleased.

Although the fatwa has been withdrawn and Mr. Rushdie has paid a visit to India in 2007 causing not more than a few excited whisperings, elections and a controversy are quite a potent combination. While BSP has turned the EC ruling of covering up Mayawati’s statues to its advantage, the Samajwadi Party in an ingenious move has sought to turn the Rushdie advent as its own trump card. The fact that the Doeband Seminary has demanded that Rushdie be not allowed to attend the Literature Fest later this month has therefore come at the most opportune time. Obviously, since Muslims account for 18% of the vote bank, their sentiments have to be taken into consideration.

What these Politicos and the Fatwa-issuing Mullahs have failed to grasp however is the fact that we are no longer living in the 90s! Much to their dismay the youth, be it Islamic or non-Islamic, condemns this ideology of banning any work of art or culture that may be bold. A shielded atmosphere is regressive and banal in the extreme.

I have a feeling that this year’s Lit Fest will see the maximum turnout. Not because of the literary greats that’ll be gracing the Festival with their presence this year but because of our tendency to revel in the scandalous and the sensational. The hype will make it all the more worth it.

Urvi Gupta
urvig@dubeat.com

Next thing you know, I was the ‘Bihariii..’ at the ground; if I dropped a catch, if I fell in a pile of mud, if I miraculously scored a run, everyone employed that phrase to ‘address me’. I was the midget at the ballpark, and so when the hoary grandad asked, ‘Why is your friend so short, usko bolo latka kare‘ , the yappers were quick to point out my rumoured allegiance to Laluland. Yes that perfectly explained my midget-ness, they thought. I didn’t take much of a liking to that name and saw it as an insult, a contemptuous ‘epithet’ that was thrown at me every single day of the week and I wanted it to stop. I always thought of myself as a Delhiite and tried my heart out to make the boys at the park believe that I wasn’t from Bihar.

Of course my mates at that time didn’t really know what they were talking about, it had to have trickled down to them from the elderly. At first I could not understand this frivolous prejudice or racism or whatever name you could give it, but then at the second thought it occurred to me that it was present everywhere. For me, discrimination on the basis of economic wealth is as condemnable as being partisan on race or colour. Even though we have our ‘colour’ issues, the predominant mindset in the country is that ‘Hey I’m better because I have the more money, so what if I just work at a call center and you work to save children in Darfur’. May be all of us are racist then- but that doesn’t justify randomly hurling out ‘Bihari’ like its a pejorative.

How can you malign the people of a land which is of great historical significance, has fertile plains and contributes immensely to the food production of the country. Bihar was rated as one of the best administered states in the country during independence, but dammit.. who knew Lalu Prasad Yadav’s appetite for cattle fodder and antics in parliament would cost me so dearly in childhood.

Turns out my paternal side is from Punjab and my maternal roots from Sindh, my father spent his childhood in Jharia(which was then in Bihar) and in spite of living all my life in Delhi, I still prefer to call myself a ‘Bihari’. My Bhojpuri skills are getting better by the day and so is Bihar under the rule of Nitish Kumar.

Rohan Seth
rohans@dubeat.com

Beaches
If you’ve heard Bette Midler’s unforgettable ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’, Beaches is where it came from. The story talks of the friendship shared by struggling singer CC Bloom (Bette Midler), a free-spirited Bronx Jew; and the uptight posh San Francisco Protestant Hillary Essex (Barbara Hershey) through thirty years of highs and lows. The realistic evolution of a relationship between two starkly opposite people where they build their own middle ground in the midst of the inevitabilities of life gives us something to relate to at every step and thus makes Beaches highly memorable.

Calvin & Hobbes
Calvin and his (toy) tiger Hobbes share a peculiar relationship, with Hobbes providing the voice of reason, and Calvin the twist, in the relationship. Best seen when on being handed a ‘friendship contract’ by Calvin, Hobbes points out that “people are friends because they want to be, not because they have to be.”

Harry and Hermione
Harry Potter’s relationship with his other best friend, Hermione Granger has the elements of a typical brother- sister relationship. Hermione is the head of R&D of the Harry Potter Adventure Inc., and her friendship with Harry helps both of them see things from a drastically different perspective from each one’s own viewpoint. One wonders if Harry could have emerged victorious, had it not been for the unflinching love and support that he got from Ron and Hermione.

Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn
An unlikely friendship for the time, Finn, the wild ‘un, and Sawyer, the quintessential city slicker. Their mutual fascination for the other’s way of life was the core of their friendship. And being friends in the late 19th century didn’t mean chilling out at pubs, it meant boat escapades down the Mississippi, rescuing slaves, and escaping from bloodthirsty bandits!

Jai and Veeru
There were a lot of memorable characters in the masala masterpience that was Sholay, but none quite endeared to the public as much as the duo of Veeru, played by the hot headed Dharmendra and Jai, played by Amitabh Bacchan (save for Amjad Khan’s badass Gabbar act though, duh). Probably the most famous celluloid friends to ever have been, Jai and Veeru have since become a cult icon, and the fabulous “Yeh Dosti” almost an anthem. Theirs was a friendship of legend, and nothing quite says brotherly bonding like chasing after hot maidens together and royally kicking the ass of the most badass bad guy of all time!

The Little Rascals
Childhood days – the fun and frolic, the innocence and the sense of being carefree. This movie is all that and much more with a bunch of neighbourhood urchins showing their penchant for go-carting and “women hating.” A take on friendship in its most innocent form: the movie has spunk and charm and a fair share of slapstick humor with Alfalfa’s attempts to charm ‘the girl of his dreams’ while Spanky sabotages it all to Butch and Woim’s antics to steal the go-cart. Catch it for its guilelessness!

FR.I.E.N.D.S
Any mention of friendship is incomplete without the iconic sitcom, Friends. Love it, hate it, you have to admit that it has its moments. The ritual of the six whiling away time at Central Perk, the complicated relationships and the job woes were amusing. And everybody needs a Chandler for those witticisms!

How many times have you sat around, scratching your head and wondering which emotion that bunch of brackets, dots and dashes is supposed to convey? With new smileys and rude-ys and disgust-ys and the like entering the cyber scene every other day, the time has come that someone devised a smiley dictionary. So here we are, DU Beat to the rescue as usual. Presenting – The Definitive Emoticon Dictionary!

: ) The smile emoticon. Used when the cute guy says something funny but it’s not quite the LOL moment. Variations include =) :> =] :-) C:

: ( The sad emoticon. Attendance beyond hope and no balance to crib about it to friends? Sad emoticon is happy (very very little happy, keeping his nature in mind though) to help. Variations include =( :-( =[ :< :C

:@ The angry emoticon. Ye kya? Canteen aunty gave you stale toffees instead of change again? Nothing better to express your fury than this emoticon buddy! Variations include :X >: X-(

8) Cool emoticon. So you have a cool new phone. What better way to show off than send this little guy in a text msg to your friends? Variations include B) B-) 8-)

:o Surprised emoticon. What? Proxy system works, man! *insert surprised smiley here* Variations include :-O :0 :-0