I am a 20-year-old guy. I have had some relationships in the past but I haven’t kissed or made out with anyone. Recently I met a girl who is now my girlfriend. I was glad to share the magical moment with her. However, it wasn’t what I expected. Is there something wrong with me, Amma? Please help!”
My dear dosa,
Amma would like to congratulate you for finding a lovely kulfi for yourself. The magic of the first time is highly anticipated by young ones. The idea of manifesting all your fantasies and dreams at once, in the first time itself; that is a surreal expectation per se.
The ‘first time’ is highly romanticised even in pop culture, which Amma does not really approve of. Amma has always advocated the liberty of love, but due to this glamorisation of this beautiful emotion, her macchas and macchis have been put under a tremendous amount of pressure.
First times are mostly clumsy, uncomfortable, and even off-putting. But that is just how you derive your true feelings, my falooda. It is through these ‘first times’ that we become closer friends and better companions.
So love on, my little sugarcane. Do not despair if the first time is not the best, because no matter what it is, you will always remember it as a beautiful memory. But Amma would again emphasise, do not disgrace love by acting on infatuation desperately. Make sure your idli is comfortable with sharing this moment with you, that she understands that you can’t be perfect the first time. Remember what Amma says: consent is the key to a macchi’s heart. Follow your heart, my poli. Amma wishes you the best.
(Write to Sex Amma at sexamma@ dubeaTt.com to get all your queries about sex answered.)