V-Day Follow Up

V-Day Follow Up – What it Means to be in an Old-School Relationship

An old-school relationship is about two people putting in their best effort, because what they see on the other side of the picture, is promising.

The best thing about love is choice. We get to consciously, deliberately choose who we fall, and stay in love with. Sure, there are scenarios of unrequited love, or inevitable heartbreaks, but the subject matter here are the lucky few, who have found themselves a partner worth working-hard for. These are the ones who landed in the lap of love in their first attempt, or experimented with the other fish in the sea before finally deciding that this is where their peace comes from. And no, let’s not belittle their feelings to something juvenile and fleeting, they do exist.

When we are representing the modern student community, who are educated in ways and forms far beyond their years (in a quantitative sense) we cannot not talk about concepts like Hedonism, or happiness of the self. Another way of looking at it would be realising that for old-school romantics, pure, undiluted love is where most of their happiness originates from.

While knowledge is, arguably, the most precious possession of a human, unnecessary knowledge from corrupt sources could be detrimental. There are a hundred different shows online exhibiting to you how fickle modern-day love is, and how every form of emotional attachment results in heartbreak. Some of us have had first-hand experience of, if not betrayal, just falling out of love. And then there is Tinder staring us in the face, perpetually drilling into us the need to swipe right.

What I am trying to propagate here is that social media, combined with peer-pressure has made us fall into this unforgiving loop of believing that love does not exist, whilst constantly making it a social compulsion to be associated with someone.

Love can be a beautiful feeling, provided both the individuals involved are on the same page. It should not be one person looking for a non-serious association (absolutely no derogatory undertones here) and the other shoving effort down their partner’s throats. Experimenting is essential, life is not a Disney movie. You need to educate your mind and familiarise your body around the concept of love. Be it looking at the emotional provocations, your connection with the person, or the gender that you prefer, discover yourself!

But then I am acting as a mouthpiece for those, who, with or without trying, have found a person they identify with on romantic grounds.

Love, in any which way, is a gamble. Any given day, it could stop working out. But you trust the other person, regardless. It is not an anxious, obsessive feeling of fear of loss, rather an almost homely feeling where you are safe in the knowledge that there is a person you can fall back to when everything else falls apart.

To put the idea in very simple terms, an old-school relationship is like an extended version of the best part of love – courtship. Where you are building emotional intimacy, rather than physical intimacy. One does not change the other person in a way that they are morphed into a replica of theirs. But there is room for improvement for both as they grow together in love. There is mutual effort, a two-way exchange of approval and forgiveness. They don’t leave the relationship when the slightest of inconveniences comes their way. You see, that is the easy thing to do, but it does take away all of the beauty.

Most importantly, the two men, the two women, or the man and woman involved, do not complete each other, no! They are not hemispheres that need their counterparts to become whole. They exist as two separate entities looking for companionship that is deep-rooted and pristine.
Love does not have to grow old, or be limited to a day.

Image Credits: wellsanfrancisco
Image Caption: Old-school love is difficult, but rewarding.

Maumil Mehraj
maumilm@dubeat.com




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