Dear Amma, I recently discovered the joys of personal pleasure derived from visual aids. I can’t help but wonder if the excitement I get from videos is more than real life experience.
You should not fret too much. The joy derived from personal pleasure is natural for both men and women, so first, let us erase that guilt. Second, the medium through which you enjoy it is something which is more subjective to each his/her own. You should realise that these visual aids are presented in such a manner so as to titillate its viewership, as the visual and mental stimulation are very powerful. It is driven by the absurdity of the situation, ruled by spontaneity and glorified vividness.
A lot of the narration and direction showcased in them is not something we tend to do in routine life (barring our
daydreams). It is that attraction as well as the intense building up of the hormones to the peak, which makes it much more pleasurable than the real-life experiences. My precious dosa, a little piece of advice Amma takes from the ancient scriptures is, “excess of anything in life is bad”. Amma asks for you to strike a balance and to keep your expectations grounded. Excessive indulging in the aforementioned visual aids can prove to be a hindrance to you while you experience pleasure in reality, as they often present sex as a means of control, punishment or domination
over the partner, proving to be very mechanical and sans-emotional intimacy.
Hence, if you are keen to have a good time, make things clear between you and your partner before you begin,
an establishment of what the two of you seek before your dosa-making. Communication is key, but it is not worth the effort if you and your partner are not on the same page with each other.
(Write to Sex Amma at email@example.com to get all your queries about sex answered.)