It is a fact universally acknowledged that people make experiences. But can anyone put a number on the latter? Can experiences matter more than people?
The general consensus about life will advocate the importance of people in life. All the memories that we create are fragments of people we choose to savor. I think it is partially true. My partial doubt is based on the fact that sometimes, in our quests to unravel the ideas of happiness in life, we cross certain limits. These limits are those of truth, the truth of our own identities. When we start giving importance to people over ourselves, my doubt comes into play. In college, this problem of self-actualisation takes a sidetrack as we seek for validation, more than anything else. It is a challenge now, to contain your identity. You start a battle with yourself, fighting hard against the tide of truth, for the simple reason that people will matter a lot in your explorations. It is true but to an extent. These people will be your best places at times, but some people might make you question your ideals, push you down or trample you. The only wise choice you have then is to trudge a path of your own making. I must mention this at the outset, experiences will gain meaning with your indulgence, and the involvement of others will always be secondary.
A few days ago, as many other Freshers, I dealt with a minor crisis of emotions. We come to a new world, anticipating great things. Somehow, we fail to see that prejudices and vanities are scattered everywhere in this world. When unreal standards are met with reality, especially when you are caught off-guard, the smallest instances can be troublesome. The moment you begin to see your opinions being shaped forcibly by an outer element, return to your guard. It is never right to let others feed on your vulnerabilities. Talk them out. As Tyrion Lannister tells Jon Snow, “Once you have accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.”
Acceptance is always the answer. Analyse yourself. In a moment of doubt, seeking advice is helpful. One of my seniors once told me that college is all about experiences. Some you will share with people, others will be your own. Every experience that is your own delivers a powerful lesson. Remember yourself in all this chaos that mandates the presence of people to ensure the best days. You are the people you need. You are your experiences.
There is something extremely important that requires our remembrance. These three years are meant for us, after the completion of this phase, there is a greater reality that awaits us. Every senior will narrate to you the stories of their survival and transformation through their time spent in college. This is only a pedestal. There are uncountable rungs that must be climbed yet. A thousand joys await you, a million smiles, because you are here, in the midst of an opportune haven. Give yourself these wings. Become the best version of yourself, and do not be a pleaser. The best people, the best relationships, the deepest bonds are established of their own accord. Something as soulful as friendship cannot feed on falseness. There will always be love. People will make you question this at times. But I firmly believe, that your experiences will tell you otherwise.
So indulge in all experiences. It is true, experiences require the involvement of people, but people are only party to the experiences. The adventures you go on will supersede the company. I do not wish to demolish the idea of relationships. In fact, all I wish to say is that people will find you, and adventures will too; all that matters is that you give priority to yourself. ‘Into the Wild’ taught me a valuable lesson. I suggest everyone to watch this cathartic joy of a movie. I read once, that shyness can ruin the best of opportunities. Do not withhold yourself from this exposure. Remember these days, for the days they are, not necessarily the ones you spent them with, to revel in earnest.
Feature Image Credits: tico.ca