Q. My girlfriend is a very strong and independent person. But she changes when we are intimate, she becomes inanimate and non participative. It makes me feel very odd and leaves me to do all the work. I don’t understand what happens to her. Please advice, Amma.
A. My sweet uppam, the thing about us humans is that we are all very complicated beings, we might appear to be hard and strong on the outside, but when faced with intimacy, we might turn out to be tender and sweet.
My little idli, maybe your strong girlfriend has a sweeter, more private side to herself. Most people regard being intimate as a deep emotional journey they undertake and it makes you feel even closer. But that often also means giving them time to come out of their shells and developing a comfort zone with you. The next time you decide to be warm and cozy, sit her down and talk to her heart to heart, about things she is comfortable doing and the things you both would like to do. Build a bond where you know just what works for your partner and what does not through communication.
Finally, just be honest with her and encourage her to do the same. Talk to each other, lay down some mutual rules and just have fun my idlies. Don’t think too much and let your feelings guide you, the mind will follow.