If Mr. Dinesh Singh were a Pokémon, he would surely be from the same family as the cumbersome and exponentially lazy Slowpoke. Like his far cuter counterpart, the Vice Chancellor of Delhi University took a while to wake up and realize that he was digging his own grave by not paying heed to any of the furious questions hurtled at him by the agitated youth studying in the capital. With issues such as safety, accommodation, and elections hanging by an incredibly thin thread, Dinesh Singh finally took matters into his own, highly slippery hands and addressed the students on 1st September.
If replying to tricky questions was an art, none could have been better than our beloved Vice Chancellor. Every controversial question was tackled with a diplomatic smile and a not-so-subtle subject change. Since safety was of utmost importance, girls were promised a hostel with free travel facilities as well as the installation of CCTV’s all around the campus. Looks like programmes such as Big Boss are not enough to satisfy the TRP-hungry show producers and their equally bored audience. Next in line is a peek into the lives of the young and frustrated DU Students.
With some great ideas in the pipeline, such as mobile canteens and easy access to Wi-Fi, it is quite a shame that this pipe is similar to Delhi’s sewage line constructed during the colonial times; untouched and never to be modified. Dinesh Singh was obviously daydreaming when he announced that disabled-friendly modes of transport would be provided in the form of DTCs and Metros, forgetting that the college campus itself would still be a nightmare for those facing difficulties. He also seems to have taken Dalrymple’s description of Delhi as the city of Djinns quite seriously, with his strong belief in an invisible hostel that has already been magically constructed for girls in South Campus, in a location that shows it is still clearly under-construction.
If I were bestowed with the honor of being made the Vice Chancellor of DU, I would dye my hair and get a face-lift to make sure my dynamic audience has its eyes glued on me instead of snoring at the back. Then the words that come out all airbrushed from my lips might as well be ignored. While mentioning the proposition that the football teams in DU would be getting a special training in New Zealand, I wouldn’t add the extra advantage being offered to the women’s soccer team being sent free of cost. This hidden information exists for the sole reason that, brilliant though the opportunity sounds, Dinesh Singh conveniently forgot to mention that the facilities for women’s soccer are relatively new and still under development in many colleges. So unless there was a secret agreement between New Zealand and India regarding the exchange of their excess population of sheep in return for female textile workers disguised in soccer cleats and sweat absorbing shorts, It is hard to see how this would boost the morale of rising sport stars without motivating them to train first.
My humble request to our Vice Chancellor would be for him to invest in an expensive hearing aid, so that his ears don’t fail him when questions regarding various important issues are shot at him. However, if I were in his place I would definitely arm myself with a shield, just in case one well-aimed arrow leaves me struggling to form coherent sentences.